Five Years Later • JIARA •

alt. 13

JJ's POV:

I still couldn't believe that Kie was pregnant and that it was my baby. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was going to be a dad. The minute that I found out Kie was pregnant, I made a promise to myself that I was going to be there for everything and support Kie no matter what.

My dad is a shitty father, he really wasn't a father at all. I don't want my baby to grow up without a dad and I sure as hell will never put my baby through what my dad has done to me.

I've been hanging out with Kie a lot and she let me touch her stomach where our little baby is growing. She also told me that Cole noticed and she lied and said she was bloated from greasy food.

I felt awful that she was destroying her relationship with her fiancé. I got her pregnant. She was carrying my baby. We created a baby together. I didn't even know she was engaged when we slept together. I never would have spent the night if I would have known. But why did she cheat on him that night with me? She loves Cole, not me and it was hard for me knowing that this baby will also have Cole in its life as a father figure.

The baby will probably end up liking Cole better than me. It scared me. Cole to me is a threat/competition. I really wish it wasn't that way but it's just my nature.

We only had four weeks left before we found out the gender and before we told our family and friends. We kept it a secret because this is going to cause a lot of drama and piss a lot of people off.

We wanted to make sure Kie made it through the most dangerous part. I was terrified to tell Cole and her parents. I also feel like Sarah might be a little pissed at me.

Two weeks went by and I've been so busy. I never read books and so far I've read two of those parenting books. I've been doing a shit ton of research on all the baby products. I want to be a good dad to this baby and I need to start right now.

I was at the cabin and Kie was coming over tonight with food to talk about the baby and go figure out when we were going to tell Cole. She arrived after work with food. We sat down and started eating and we just talked casually.

"So are you ready to tell Cole?" I asked her

"No, but it's time. I'm also going to ask him to postpone the wedding until after the baby is here"

"He's going to be pissed" I said nervous for her

"Yeah, I can't talk about it right now because it's going to stress me out"

We ate dinner, talked about the baby, and watched a movie. Kie's stomach was growing and we took some more bump pictures. We were watching the movie and I had my hand on Kie's stomach. The movie ended and I leaned down and said, "Hi, baby please keep growing to be healthy and strong so we can meet you. We love you so much"

Then without thinking, I kissed her stomach and pulled back, and said, "Fuck, I'm sorry. That was a total invasion of privacy"

I felt so stupid for my actions. Here's a secret, I'm in love with Kie. I have been for years and now how could I not love her? She's carrying my baby. Sometimes I forget we aren't together and that she's with Cole, not me.

Thankfully, Kie was cool about it. "Hey, it's okay. It's my body, but it's also your baby. You can touch, kiss, and talk to my stomach whenever we are alone. It's good for the baby to hear your voice and feel your touch"

"Kie, can I ask you something? I need you to be honest with me"

"Yeah, I will be" She said looking at me concerned

I was nervous to hear her answer and I said, "Honestly, I'm terrified to have a baby. I'm scared that it's just in my DNA to act like Luke. I know I have his temper and anger and what if I pass that onto our baby and our baby turns into a monster like me?"

Kie looked at me and I could see the sadness in her eyes. Her face dropped and I could see tears forming in her eyes. "Don't ever fucking compare yourself to Luke again. He might be your father biologically but he wasn't a father to you. You already love and care about this baby so much. You will never turn into Luke. If I thought you were going to be like Luke, I wouldn't have told you about the pregnancy. You're going to be the best dad, J"

"You really think so?" I asked surprised

"I know you will be by the way you take care of me" She said resting her head on my shoulder

"Thank you" I whispered as she calmed me down

A few minutes later, she was getting ready to leave to go back home to Cole. She looked over and saw the car seat sitting in the corner and she smiled.

"I can't wait until we have a baby to put in there"

"Neither can I"

I walked her to her car and I hugged her and said, "Please drive safe and text me when you get home"

"I will, thanks for letting me come hang out"

"Anytime" I said as I shut her door so she could leave

I watched Kie leave and I went inside and got ready for bed. I laid in bed thinking about how much my life was going to change in a few months, hell even in a few weeks when everyone knew I was going to be a dad.

I grabbed the ultrasound picture next to my bed and looked at it as I fell asleep.