My brother's best friend

Chapter eleven

The sound of someone knocking on the door wakes me up the next morning. I realize I slept on the couch. I rub my eyes, trying to get rid of the sleep, as I stumble to the door. There's a second knock just as I reach the door. I open it and am taken aback by who is standing in the door. 

Leo. His lips are pulled into the lopsided smile when he sees me. His eyes sparkle and his whole face seem to light up. Instead of the faint flutter, I felt when we first met there was nothing. My heart drops at the realization. 

I step aside and let him in. "I came to get you." He declares, turning to face me. I shut the door before focusing on him. "This has been going on for long enough. I've waited for you and now, I came to rescue you." 

"I don't need saving." I say firmly. I am no damsel in need of a prince. I can save myself. I walk to the kitchen and put on the kettle. 

Leo appears in the kitchen and leans against the counter,  "I beg to differ. You've been locked up in your room for almost two months." Leo reaches for my hands, "I might not be saving you from a dragon or a goon, but I'm saving you from yourself." 

There might be some truth to his words, but I am fine now. And for the first time in a very long time, I am very certain about what I want. I have never felt so sure in my whole life. Not even when mom and dad had been here to help me. 

"Listen, Leo-" I'm cut off by knocks on the front door. I grumble and excuse myself to answer the door. On the porch once again is Daniel. His hands stuffed into his pockets, just like last night. 

Before I could stop it, images of last night flashes in my mind. From the beginning to the end. The good and bad. After the images faded, my heart fluttered. Just as it had when I was 16 and crushing on my brother's best friend. I push away the newly surfaced feelings and try to smile. 

"Linds, I really need to talk to you. Last night..." he runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath. In the brief moment, he paused there was a crash coming from the kitchen. He tries to look past me, his hand lingering on the back of his neck. "What was that?" His eyes land on me and I feel myself shrinking. 

I'd much rather focus on this than whatever Leo had done in the kitchen. "It was nothing, please go on." Daniel frowns, not convinced. "Who's there?" He asks, his eyes glaring at me. I almost feel like he's boring two holes in me. 

"It's Leo." I say softly. I watch as emotions like anger, pain, shock and sadness come onto Daniel's face. "I shouldn't have come." He steps back and almost falls back. I reach for him but he steps away quickly. 

He jumps off the porch, skipping all the steps and hurries across the street. I want to follow him and explain. I want to grab his face and kiss him. I want to tell him that he makes my heart flutter. I want to explain what happened last night. I want to tell him everything. But I stay frozen at the door. 

"Who was that?" I shut the door when Leo enters the room. "No one." I push past him and head back to the kitchen. "Oh, I might have broken the kettle." I stop when I see the kettle on the floor, water spilt all around it. Half of the plug is still in the wall while the other half is torn open and flashing its colours. "I didn't know the plug was attached-" 

"Get out." I say, not loud but I believe he heard me. "Lindsey, it's just a kettle." He protests. I turn to face him, "Get out. I don't need you. I don't need saving, not from dragons, goons or myself. I can handle it. So, please... leave." 

He slowly walks to the door. When he's outside I start closing the door. "Wait." He says, stopping the door with his hand. I sigh and wait for him to say what he wants to. "What's happening?" He asks. I swallow hard before forming the words and letting them out. Once they're said I can't get them back. 

"This is me, throwing you out and telling you to move on." He seems stunned at my words. "But, I-" I shake my head, "I've changed. The girl you loved is gone. I am a new person. This is better for both of us." His whole face falls and he reminds me of a little boy that lost his puppy. I slowly shut the door. I turn and stand with my back against the door. When I hear his footsteps on the porch fade I slide down to the floor and wrap my arms around my legs, pulling my knees to my chest. That was much harder than I thought. 

Leo's sad face flashes in my mind every time I close my eyes. I finally push off the floor and start cleaning up the mess he made in the kitchen. After I cleaned up I felt much better. I was ready to face Daniel now. I am ready to be his. Only his. 

Just as I reach the door something stops me. At first, I have no idea what it is, but then it hits me. It's the same thing that stopped me last night and a few hours ago. It's a small voice nagging at me. 

"You're moving too fast, Lindsey." It whispers. "You're parents just died." "Is now the best time for a new relationship?" 

I want to scream at it to be quiet. But I know it's right. What if I was moving too fast? I mean it's Daniel. Sure, Amanda and mom would have been happy beyond the moon. They've always dreamed of a Greene-Moore grandchild. Daniel and I were their last hope after Taylor and Will called it quits. 

"Are you doing this for you?" The voice nags. "Or is it to make your mom happy one last time?" I try to push the voice away, but the harder I push the louder it becomes. "Are you truly in love with Daniel or is he convenient? Will you feel like this in a few months? Weeks? Days?" 

I want to fight against it, but it has a valid point. What if I only felt like this because I was recalling times when I was happy when mom and dad were still here? What if I only remember liking Daniel because it's associated with the happy times of mom and dad still being here and I want to feel like that again? 

I can't do that to Daniel. I can't do that to everyone. And I especially can't do it to myself.