My brother's best friend

Chapter Thirty-Four

3 weeks. In the 3 weeks, my parents will be dead for a year. 

4 weeks. That's how long Daniel has been a ghost around the house. After my party, we haven't spoken much. He floats around the house, helping with Aiden and other things, but we don't interact. Well, not if we don't have to. Sometimes we would both hurry to Aiden when he cries or we would be in each other's way when we do laundry. But other than that, we don't see each other. 

Right now, Aiden's gurgling at me, making sounds as I speak to him. "Who's my sweet boy?" I asked, tickling his tummy. He giggles and squirms under my hands. He looks up at me then something behind me catches his attention. He looks back at me and sends me a smile. 

I hear the door open and look over my shoulder. Daniel closes the door. He looks at me, but neither of us says anything. He disappears upstairs. I keep playing with Aiden. I hear Daniel come downstairs. He sinks down next to me and starts talking to his son. "It's almost nap time." I say getting to my feet. 

I make coffee for Daniel and tea for myself. Today is my first day back at the studio. I only have one class, but it's a start. I need to get back in a routine and get Aiden in one too. When I return to the living room I see Daniel disappear up the stairs again. I place his mug of coffee on the coffee table. 

"He's down. I'll check on him again later." I nod, taking a sip of my tea. "You do remember that I have a class this morning?" He nods, "I know." We stand in silence. "I'm going out with Abby tonight. I might get in late." I shrug, "That's fine. I only have one class." "Alright then."

After finishing my tea I fetch my things and leave the house. All the way to the studio all I could think of is how messed up things are now. I should have never kissed him. I should have just left the party when I wanted to the first time. I shouldn't have stayed there. If I'd just left then none of this would have been happening. 

Are you sure about that? You would have kissed him at some point. The voice in my head chimes. And it was a nice kiss. Reminded you of that night. Wonderful isn't it?  I try to shut out the voice but it keeps coming. I bet he remembered it as well. Who can forget it? 

No! No, he's loyal to Abby. He loves Abby. And I'm not ruining their relationship. I park my car and sit in it for a while. I shut my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Oh, sweetheart, their relationship was doomed the moment you told Daniel about the baby. "No!" I yell, slamming my hands against the wheel, "No!" I clench my jaw, gritting my teeth. "He loves her. Not me. I am nothing to him. He's nothing to me." I repeat the words a couple of times. Over and over. Until the voice disappears and I'm only left with my own voice, mumbling the words. 

I jump at the knock on the car window. I look out and see it's one of the moms. She waves at me, a large smile on her lips. I open the door and get out. "Hello." She chimes. I send her a smile, "Morning, how can I help?" "We were just worried. We saw you park, but you never got out." I don't respond. "Where's little Aiden?" She asks, noticing I don't have any baby things with me. 

"He's with his dad." I say, hoping I don't sound too horrible. "Oh, thank goodness." She says, putting a hand on her heart. "What?" I ask, looking at her sideways as we enter the studio. "We thought you didn't know." She says to me, then to the other moms, "She knows, she knows who the father is." Everyone looks very relieved. I frown, did they really think that little of me? "I've always known." I say to the woman next to me. She smiles at me, "Of course, dear." 

Before I snap and yell at the mothers, I usher the girls into the class. We start work immediately. I'm happy to see they remember what I taught them before I went on leave. They all seem to enjoy the class very much. At the end of the class, they all rush over and hug me. One little girl, Kayla, looks up at me, "We've missed you." I stroke her hair, "I've missed you, girls, too." 

On my way home, I think of what I'm going to say to Daniel. This awkward atmosphere around us is making me crazy. Maybe I should tell him to just forget the kiss. We should just move on. There's no need to dwell on the fact that we kissed, just like we didn't dwell on the fact that we had a wonderful night together and have a child because of it. Personally, I think if we could move on from that, we can move on from a kiss. 

Crash. 

My attention snaps to the car behind me. I switch off the car and get out. The car behind me's bumper is pressed against the back of my car. The man gets out and assesses the damage. We exchange our information and I call someone to tow my car. I also call Daniel to come to pick me up. 

As I wait for him at the car place, my mind goes wild. 11 April. In three weeks my parents would be gone for a year. They were killed in a car accident. My heart hammers in my chest. My mind jumps from memory to memory, recalling last year's events in random order. 

"Lindsey! Lindsey!" I look up and see Daniel rush in. I get up and hurry to him. He wraps me in his arms and I start sobbing. He tries to calm me down. He whispers into my hair and coos into my ear. He strokes my hair and just holds me close. 

I finally pull away, "Where's Aiden?" I ask, looking for my little boy. "There's a perk of living so near to parents. I dropped him off at my mom's." I nod absently. "What happened?" He asks, making me look at him by grabbing my face between his hands. "I, I don't know." I look to the side, the car still slightly in my view. 

"All I know is my parents were killed the same way, Daniel. They're gone." I look at him again, "You know it's the anniversary of their death in three weeks?" He doesn't say anything, he just pulls me to his chest. 

Just like that, we're back to normal.