'I Don't Care If You're Contagious' BoyxBoy

'I Don't Care If You're Contagious' 15

He was too late, not even screaming his name would do him any good; Ash was just too far gone. Nathan’s vision was only focused on him. All he could do was stand there helplessly and watch as his first love plunged backwards into the oncoming traffic below. He watched as Ash gave away from the fence and started to fall, his coffee-black hair blew in the wind as his arms were outstretched embracing the fatality that awaited him. Nathan squeezed his eyes shut and cringed, squatting down on the ground and putting his head between his legs. He began to cry. His breath caught in his throat as he was forced to listen to cars below swerve and honk, he jumped at the sounds of metal being crushed and grinded together, he sobbed harder at the sounds of screaming tires halting on dry pavement. He couldn’t take it anymore. Nathan gasped for air and his breath grew ragged; he started to run full ahead just to get away. He didn’t want to see Ash in a million pieces from getting hit by big metal cars.

Everything seemed like a daze, like a movie reel being played over and over again. It was as if his life was stuck on repeat, or perhaps something along the lines of that show ‘The Twilight Zone.’ Everywhere Nathan ran seemed like the exact same place, he was bewildered and still crying and gasping through choked sobs trying to avoid oncoming pedestrians eyeing this weird boy who looked like he was about to fall any moment.

Nathan turned another corner onto an empty street, the sky still gray and ugly. He looked at the soft little snowflakes that were littering the ground below him. Nathan listened to the faint buzz of police sirens and ambulances. He felt grim and empty like death himself had sucked his very soul from his core. He banged his head on the building behind him and sunk down; he’d rather just stay here on the pavement and let time take over his body and slowly let him rot and disintegrate into nothing.

A sudden realization took over his body, as all the memories and emotions that he’d buried deep down after his family’s death came crawling back up scratching at his throat and insides, invading his mind and inviting pain into his life yet again. Nathan clenched his fists to his sides, sucking in a mouthful of air, and yelled at the world. Letting the pain and anguish wash over his body, letting it numb his mind, he yelled till his ears were ringing and his throat was so raw that he could almost taste blood. He yelled all the hate out for everything, he yelled for stupidly falling in love with someone who killed his family. He yelled for being naive and not seeing, for loving Alex and hiding everything deep inside.

He screamed and kicked around like a little kid, bawling his eyes out till he couldn’t see straight. He was too late to save Ash and because of his slowness his love was dead and he was left with nothing but the pain of memories and mystery for his family. He needed the truth; he wanted to hear it from Ash’s lips, to find out what happened. He couldn't kill someone he loved, even after this whole time he swore he’d kill the fucker who took life from him. But not Ash, he hated the fact he was breaking his own set of rules, and most of all he hated himself.

“Nathan….” The voice was far away and soft. Nathan’s heart skipped a beat because he thought maybe it was Ash. That the guy that had jumped off the bridge wasn’t him but some fool who looked like him. He conjured up enough energy from his tired body to move his head to the right, but was dismayed…. It was Alex, who was crouched down close to him. The smell of paints and coffee invaded his nose, sending a chill into Nathan.

Nathan felt his dry lips move into a fake meek smile. “ Hey.” And before he knew it Nathan felt his vision slip and body hit the ground.
　
He was swimming in water, barely treading but swimming in a sea that smelt wonderful. A sort of joy filled him, invading his soul and lungs, filling him with such happiness that bubbles of uncontained laughter filtered through his lips. He felt weightless and calm, the world was off his shoulders and he could finally breathe again. Suddenly the scenario changed and he was in the coffee shop again, the smells of cappuccinos and various blends of deep roast coffees filled the air. In front of him was a boy. At first he thought it was Ash. But he was wrong, the boy was someone else, who looked like Ash. But his smile reminded him of Alex, realizing it was a mixture of looks of Alex and Ash, which formed a beautiful man smiling at him across the table, who was talking to him. But he couldn’t hear the words that were coming from his slender full lips. The man’s eyes were scrunched in confusion looking at him. Nathan noticed his eyes were sea green with flecks of honey brown in them. The man kept speaking but Nathan couldn’t hear him, getting angry he stood up and knocked a cup of coffee off the table, pointing fingers at Nathan as if he himself was telling the guy off. Nathan tried to speak but no words were forming. The coffee shop started to get dark. He looked outside noticing that the city was disappearing in a sea of inky blackness, everything was being swallowed up as the wave of black washed over everything. Fear hit him and he begin to panic, he felt strong hands grasp around his neck as the man was choking him, and who was still yelling. Nathan could only guess they were slurs of profanity. The hands grasped harder and Nathan struggled for air choking and swatting at his hands but the man was too strong. The blackness surrounded them now started to eat at the man’s face, distorting his image to someone ugly and unrecognizable.
　
“ NOOOOOOOO!” Nathan awoke thrashing around with sweat covering his naked body, his heart was hammering against his rib cage and he had to hold his chest to calm it.