repeat// 5SOS

slap in the face

Luke

I couldn't sleep.

I felt disgusting.

My privacy had never been invaded in a way like that.

Everytime I thought I was okay, I started to cry again, and I'd ended up leaving the bedroom to go downstairs and sit with Petunia. She was very sleepy, but was trying to comfort me.

Calum came downstairs for a glass of water, then came and sat beside me, offering it to me instead.

"No thanks,"

"I haven't seen you drink or eat since we got back here. Take it,"

I shook my head and he forced it into my hand, then wrapped his arm round my shoulder and brought me into his side.

"Honestly Luke, I cannot imagine how you feel right now, but you are nothing like what she says you are, and she is being dealt with,"

"She came into my home, and spoke to my daughter and my girlfriend, and touched my things. She made Gabi feel unwanted- after 18 years she is still managing to make Gabi feel unwanted,"

"Gabi knows the truth now, Michael told her,"

"Well I am sure he didn't tell her the full extent of my anxiety,"

"You thought you would be a shitty parent, that's what the problem was. But you're not! You've given her the most loving, and safe environment for her to be herself... she knows she is wanted and cared for,"

"She went into my home,"

"Yeah, by committing literal fraud, and she was not legally supposed to be at your address regardless of any recent things because she is not allowed to see or contact Gabi in the slightest,"

"Meeting her was the worst thing to ever happen in my life,"

"She did not treat you how you deserved, Luke. You deserve to be treated how Sierra treats you, and I know she will give you lots of patience about this,"

"I'm gonna fuck it up,"

"You're not,"

"I don't even know why I am so upset,"

"Yes you do, don't downplay your emotions. She has no right doing this, and invading your privacy like that- you are going to feel upset for a bit,"

"I spent so long trying to stay away from her and she somehow found me,"

"We are going to get through this, okay?"

"How?"

"We just will,"

"My head hurts,"

"Drink this, I will go and make a sandwich, then we are gonna watch tv until you fall asleep,"

The sternness in his voice didn't come out often, but when it did, it was not something to be reckoned with. I drank the water, then ate the sandwich while he got Petunia in her bed and stroked her to sleep.

Afterwards, we went up to the room he was staying in and got in bed, then he turned the tv on and I laid down, waiting for my eyes to get heavy.

"Cal,"

"Yeah?"

"Promise I'm not like who she says I am?"

"You're not, I promise,"

"Okay,"

"She was always the worst to you, Luke, you just didn't always see it. None of this is your fault,"