Blush - Steddie

2

eddies brain could not stop his thoughts. no matter how hard he tried he could not push them down. he hated himself for it.

why oh why was he thinking of that night. why did steve have to bring all those feelings back up for him.

his mind was racing and his leg bouncing, his nails were probably shortened by half from all the bitting. and he tried to get his mind off it by smoking and even drinking but his brain just wouldn't stop.

he didn't like the fact that he was even thinking of steve. he wanted to forget all about it. but he couldn't, it was eating him alive from the inside.

deciding sitting on his bed is not going to help him calm down he took his bike and went to a place he knew he could take out his anger and frustration.

arriving at a near by car dump he checked if anyone was there. it seemed almost abandoned and eddie assumed it was, since he never saw anyone there.

resting his bike on a fence, he jumped over, landing gracefully on the ground. looking around he saw broken cars, scrap metal, tires, glass, trash... eyeing a metal rod he picked it up and spun it in his hand.

he walked up to a seemingly recently dumped car, took a deep breath, swung the rod back and smashed it into the car windows with all his strength. the glass broke falling into the car and on the floor.

letting out a gasp he looked at the window and laughed. he jumped on the hood of the car and as he was releasing the rod down on the windshield he yelled out.

the screen didn't break immediately, so he hit it again, screaming once more. he hit it a few more times until it broke. yes, he was out of breath but that.. was amazing.

he felt relief wash over him. maybe it was the adrenaline, the anger or just... eddie but he knew this was working. he was huffing, his chest moving up and down. he jumped on another car sparing no time for it to prepare for the impact. as eddie swung into the cars windshield he screamed "FUCK YOU!" the screen didn't break yet. he swung again "I HATE YOU!" it started cracking. "FUCK YOU STEVE!!" the glass broke.

eddie dropped the metal rod as he couldn't bare his feelings any longer. it felt as tho the emotional dam that he was building up all his life had suddenly just broke. this little pebble was thrown at it and the dam was destroyed, emotions spilling out.

he cried. at first they started as little sobs, his chest rising up and down in heaves but then he fully cried out. tears flowing down his face and his vision was getting blurry.

he slowly lowered his body on the hood he was still standing on, now on his knees and head in his hands. soon his fingers were drenched in tears but eddie just couldn't stop. he just kept crying, occasionally letting out a loud sob. he curled up on the car, not truly caring if he was laying on broken shards of glass. and he just cried.

he guessed it was mostly because of steve but other circumstances might've contributed to his feelings.

he wasn't sure when he stopped crying. he was suddenly just laying there on the car in total silence except the occasional hiccup he let out.

and almost like nothing happened, he got up off the car, carefully swiping off the glass shards that got stuck in his hair, jumped over the fence, got on his bike and left.

he didn't know what he was feeling at the moment but he knew he was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep. he might've cared about his obviously puffy eyes, not wanting wayne to see him like this but he wasn't home anyways.

he got in, locking the door behind him and heading straight to his room. he didn't bother to shower, he didn't think he could stand for another minute. he just plopped on his bed, face first and almost as if hitting a cloud, eddie fell asleep in seconds.