The creek in Capeside

Mothers and daughters

The next few weeks were unbearable. Thankfully, Jen and Andie stuck by me throughout it. Jack can and went, he tried his best to still hang out with us, but it made things awkward with him and Pacey. Plus, he still worked at the Ice House with Joey, so had to play his cards right to keep his job. I completely understood, I'd put everyone in a difficult position. It was my fault.

I passed Joey a couple of times in the hall, she looked straight at the ground, never making eye contact. I opened my mouth a few times to try and begin an apology, but I couldn't bring myself to it. Until, one day I walked into the bathroom at lunch and stood face-to-face with her. She turned away quickly, tucking her hair behind her ear and staring down at one of the sinks.
'Joey. Please. I know I've been horrible and should never have said any of those things, I just always found you so intimidating. It was my own stupid self-pride, I didn't like the thought that you didn't like me, so I decided not to like you to try and give myself some power over the situation.' I saw her look towards me out of the corner of her eye, but she still said nothing.
'I always thought you were so pretty, and I didn't know how to act around you. I'm sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, but could you at least relieve the tension between us. Everyone else: Pacey, Jack, Andy, they're all paying the price for my mistake.' Joey still said nothing, but her face had changed, it was less cold. I'd hoped that it meant 'you know maybe she has a point', but only time would tell. I left the bathroom, so Joey could think things over.

Arriving home after school:

I noticed a car out in our drive. Mom's car.
'Hey sweetie!' She said, embracing me with such a tight squeeze, I breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of her clothes and her hair. Then I felt safe and started to shake, tears streaming down.
'Oh my darling, come here. It's ok, it'll all be ok. Let's have a sit down and you tell me what's going on.'
I told her everything, how stupid I'd been and how desperate I was for everyone to forgive me.
'It's sounds to me like this is mostly about Pacey, sweetheart. I don't want to assume, but I do think I know my own daughter.' She tapped me on the nose sweetly.
'Believe it or not, sometimes better than she knows herself. It'll all blow over my darling, and sometimes these things show us who are real friends are.' Mom hugged me tight again and then sent me off to bed. I was so pleased to have her home, maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely anymore, or at least until she next went away.

I lay awake in bed, 'was she really right? Do I like Pacey that much and in that way?'. I couldn't think straight, all I knew was that I missed him. It was a different sort of feeling to how I felt with Jack. Jack I knew was just doing what he had to in order to 'survive' or whatever. But Pacey, it felt like he'd pushed me away, it was an active choice to keep clear of me. It hurt so much. I missed him, even that daft grin he always pulled, it used to make me smile too.