You're My Sun - Soukoku

Chapter Seven

Dazai pov

"There is no fucking way I am going to team up again with this asshole. I've had enough of him."

Even though I'm used to hearing words like this come from Chuuya, I have to admit they always hurt a bit. I know I'm annoying, but I honestly can't be that bad. Of course you can. You're a horrible person. No one would willingly want to hang out with you. All you've ever done is just annoy others instead of actually helping. You're probably just gonna end up getting saved by Chuuya on this mission like usual. You're disgraceful. You'll never be a good role model for Atsushi.

I hear somebody say my name, and I look up to find that most of the people gathered around the table have left, leaving only me, Atsushi, Tanizaki, Fukuzawa, Mori, Akutagawa, and Ranpo.

"So about logistics and all that, it makes sense to strike at 7:00 tomorrow, the guards will be over halfway done with their shifts, and they'll be less observant than if they were at the beginning of their shifts, since they'll be tired and hungry. Atsushi and Akutagawa will take them down, and Tanikazi will get all the security cameras under control. Then, Dazai and Chuuya will enter the hideout and fight their way through, capturing whoever is behind this whole incident. The five of you will meet in front of the agency at 5:30 tomorrow, and be driven to the location by Kunikida. Sound good?" Ranpo says.

"Wait, Ranpo, I thought you were coming too!" Atsushi wines.

"No, I don't have time for that, I have a date with Poe tomorrow night." Ranpo replies, smiling.

"I hope you have a nice time..." Atsushi mumbles.

"You'll also have these." Ranpo holds out five little devices that look like earpieces. "Higuchi will be monitoring your progress from the Port Mafia building. She can hear everything that's going on from these, so if you need any backup or anything like that you can yell to her."

"Thanks, but no." Chuuya says, snatching up one of the earpieces to examine it. "I won't be needing any backup."

"You never know." Ranpo shrugs.

"Is that everything?" Fukuzawa asks.

"Yup, that's it. Just be at the agency at 5:30 tomorrow. Don't be late!" He looks at Chuuya.

"Why the hell are you looking at me?!" Chuuya screams. "If anything, look at Dazai! He's probably gonna be too busy jumping off some goddamn building to actually show up in time..." He trails off, realizing what he said, and shooting a glance at me. I give him a small smile. Of course he thinks that. He doesn't think you're any good. Just give up.

I stand up, and Atsushi does as well. Everyone else follows.

"Well, see everyone tomorrow then!" I smile and wave my hand at them before walking out of the coffee shop, Atsushi trailing after me. After a minute of him nervously fidgeting with his hands, I ask, "What is it?"

"Well- it's just-" He stutters. "Are you sure it's a good idea for you and Chuuya to be working together? I mean you both seem to hate each other a lot. Maybe Chuuya and I could switch places or something." I stop walking and turn to face him.

"Atsushi, Chuuya and I have known each other for a long time. We used to be partners in the Port Mafia. We haven't managed to kill each other yet, so I wouldn't worry if I were you." I give him my best reassuring smile. "Plus, I don't think you actually want to be switched off of Akutagawa's team." I conclude, smirking.

"I- I- wha?" Atsushi splutters, turning bright red. "What's that supposed to mean?" I hum to myself and leave him to his muttering.

...

Back at the agency, I try to actually get some work done for once, but working is actually really hard, you know. Like, I really don't understand how some people just sit down and work. My mind always wanders off. It must be nice to be like Ranpo, the only work he ever does is exciting. Of course, nobody is as smart as him. I flop my head down onto my desk.

"Keep your head up!" Kunikida barks at me. "You still have work to do!" He's typing away, as usual. I have no idea how he functions on a daily basis. He has literally no free time.

"You're no fun, Kunikida." I grumble, but I sit back up and try at my work again.

About an hour later I'm actually done. That's the first time I've actually done some work in a while. I mostly just laze around. It's better for everyone if you laze around. You probably messed up half the stuff you were just working on. Kunikida is just gonna get mad at you again and you'll have to deal with his screaming like always. You deserve it.

I sigh. I wish that little voice in my head would just shut up sometimes. Stupid. Atsushi looks at me from his desk.

"You ok, Dazai?" he asks, looking a little concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He looks back to his work and I look out the window. My eyes go straight to the Port Mafia building. Too bad your suicide attempt didn't work the other day. It didn't. Chuuya saved me. He saved my life. If only he actually cared about me in the same way I care about him.

I find myself thinking again about that moment the other morning. I remember my arms wrapped around him, the warm and cozy feeling that was in my gut at the moment. He's always a bit nicer when it's just us. I don't know why he puts on that whole mean act, but he does. I wish he could be nicer to me like he is when we're alone all the time. I wish that he would tolerate my presence sometimes. I wish that he would tell me that I deserve to live again. I wish that he would wrap me up in his arms and take my face in his hands and-

Wait. I've never really thought about him like this before. Sure, sometimes my stomach gets all fluttery when I think about him, but maybe that's just a rival thing. Yeah.

I don't... like him...

Do I?

1050 words

A/N: Wow, Dazai you finally figured it out great job only took you like 7 years