Wounds of My Heart

30. Naive

☾
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, love." He replies and I sigh.

I am currently in Jordan's car, he is driving me home this time since he actually attended school today.

"Um," I can't find the words to say this. "Why were you distant with me these last couple of days? Did I do something wrong?" I ask and look away, remembering what my dad told me yesterday. Why would someone want to be related to me some way? It was obvious Jordan would eventually get tired of me.

I understand.

He sighs and I turn to look at him for just a second. "No, you did nothing wrong. I'm just," He pauses. Hesitates. "Busy."

I'm not buying that.

"Ok." I don't push him further, I realize now that whatever is the reason why he has been acting this way I probably don't want to know it.

"Why would you think that?" He asks and I frown. "That you did something wrong." He adds probably hence my confuse expression.

Because it's always me. The problem. It has to be me, enough people have distanced themselves from me to think otherwise.

"People usually get kinda tired of me." I add the 'kinda' to make it sound more relaxed.

"I would never be tired of you." He says and I keep my gaze in the window this time. I'm too much of a coward to believe him.

"It's ok if you are-"

"You really think I am tired of you?" He sounds shocked and maybe even disappointed. I still don't dare to look in his direction. "Please look at me."

I slowly turn to look at him for the hundredth time in this conversation. He looks at me for a second before he goes back to looking at the road.

"It would be easier if I was tired of you, but I'm not. I don't think I will ever have enough of you." He says and I'm not sure what that means, so I just blink at him.

We soon arrive to my house. I grab my things and say, "Thank you Jordan."

I was about to open the door and get out, but he got out the car first. I followed his figure through the window until he was outside the passenger door. He opened the door for me and offered me his hand.

With our hands still interlocked, he lead me to my front door and we stood there in silence, just looking at each other for a couple seconds.

"Can you-" he stops and looks away. I squeeze his hand to encourage him. "Can you teach me how to hug you?" He looks so embarrassed, I feel bad.

My eyes that were almost watery a few minutes ago are full wide now, my heart beating so quickly and loudly I'm afraid he can hear it.

I can't remember how to breathe, and I suddenly forgot how to hug too.

"Yes!" I say and he looks back at me. I meet him with a smile.

I get closer to him slowly, afraid to scare him or make him more embarrassed. "You just gotta extend your arms for me." He does and I hug his waist while I bury my face on his chest. He doesn't move at all as I do, just like the last time I tried to hug him.

But this time is different, he actually wants to hug me!

I can hear his rapid heartbeat beneath my ear. Or maybe I'm actually hearing mine, I'm not sure tho.

"You can put your arms around me it's ok!" I tell him and he slowly does it. I immediately feel his warm enveloping me.

I move my hand up and down his back and he mimicks my action.