Doll Pumpkin Peanut ...

Chapter 7

Shaking her head as they stand in the middle of the bedroom "I can't" she whispers out her sob. "You can" still holding her hand "I can't James, I can't find out again that I lost another"

"I don't want to be told that 'it wasn't my fault I didn't know' I should've known there had to be something that I'm missing...I don't want to be told I failed again not for the fourth time" shaking her head as Bucky guides her to the bed to sit "We don't know anything Maddie, that's why we need to go"

"I can't be told that again, not for a fourth time. I know it's happening again and I-I don't need some fucking doctor to tell me I did it again"

"You didn't do anything" brushing his hands against the side of her face pushing her hair back to see her face and to make her see his "you've never done anything wrong Maddie."

"Then why do I keep killing them" sobbing out "your not killing them sweetheart, they just aren't viable babies. Again we don't know if it's actually happening until we go it might just be what we had with Willow"

"There's too much blood for it to be that James. It was spotting the last time this is a fucking slasher movie"

"Let's just go to the doctors to double check" trying to coax her up "No" shaking her head "Maddie come on"

"No I-I can't"

"You can"

"I don't want to know"

"Please just stand up" taking her small hand in his large on giving a small tug "No"

"GET YOUR ASS UP MADISON!" Looking up to him seeing his face red and his eyes watering "I want to know if we lost another kid Madison!" Never seeing him like this before never this anger and upset.

Smacking his hand on his chest "I want to know! I want to know if I lost another one of my kids!" A sob breaking through his lips "I want to know if we have to carry around the fact we lost another one of our beautiful fucking kids Madison!"

"I fucking love you Madison and I understand you not wanting to know but I need to know. I have to know if this is real or not. I need to know if this is something I have to write down so I remember, so I don't forget anyone of our angel babies that we never got to meet."

Watching the tears fall from his eyes as they look at one another. Looking up at his towering height, as he looks at her small body. "Madison..." speaking as though it hurts "Get. Up." The strain in his voice and the tears rolling down his face cracking her heart.

"Okay" taking a deep breath before pushing off the bed standing in front of him "let's go" barely getting out as she holds her shaky hand out for his "Thank you" taking her hand in his taking their steps all the way out to the elevator and down to the garage.

Standing next to the bed watching the doctor move the ultrasound wand around her belly after her pelvic exam. Hearing the sound of Bucky fingers tapping his leg as is other holds Maddie hand. "Well?" Bucky asking since the doctor has been quiet for a large amount of time.

The doctor flicking his eyes to the couple seeing the scared and worry rolling off of them. "You are not having a miscarriage" Bucky dropping his head bringing her hand up with a smile kissing "But" the doctor pulling their attention back.

"It seems you had an ovarian cysts that ruptured"  feeling Maddie hand tighten in his hand "Am I going to be okay?" Scooting herself to sit up "Right now I'm saying yes but we are going to hold you for awhile to check you for internal bleeding and to check to make sure it empties"

"Do you need to remove her...uterus?" Bucky unsure if that was the right word "Unless there is more cyst on her ovaries or her we see anything that could lead to further health risks we might but we don't know until we get a better look. So I will send you up to the main floors and have another doctor take care of you"