Silent Tears

Chapter 14: Run

"Charles?"

"Sarah?"

They both are in shock. Sarah turns to me.

"Jacob what's going on? Charles lives here? You didn't tell me that?"

"JACOB?!"

Everyone turns to see Spot wide eyed with his book on the floor.

"Uhhh."

"What is goin on here? Am I'se missin somethin?"

"I..uh..I....

Shit."

I can't stay here. To much is happening. It's all coming crashing down. I pushed past Hotshot and ran down the stairs. "Albert!!!" "ALBERT!!!" They're running after me, Race close behind. "ACE, RED, CLOTH, STOP HIM!" And that they did. They cut me off, grabbing a hold of me. Red loosened my arm. He loosened it just enough to were I punch Ace, he fell to the floor. I then kicked Cloth in the stomach, and slid beneath Red's legs. Boy, I could be a ninja. I  burst threw the door. I don't know where I'm going but I HAVE to go somewhere, anywhere but here. I'm running the opposite direction of Manhattan and Brooklyn. 

I hear yelling for me but I don't listen. Cold tears are falling, hitting the ground as hard as my feet are. As I run faster the voices fade. I keep running not wanting to get caught. My whole life is crashing down. But of course I run. That's all I ever do. Run. I've run from the accident with my father, I've run from James, I basically ran from my relationship with Spot, I ran from Finch, I ran from Hotshot, I tried to run from life multiple times, and now this. It's all I know how to do. Run.

My feet are pounding against the rough ground. And there goes my hat, but I don't look back. Leave it. Leave everything. Leave everyone. I have no clue where I'm going, but I don't care at this point. A carriage could run over me and I wouldn't care. I honestly wonder how much anyone will really care now that I'm gone. I mean, did Finch really ever love me? Was Race ever really my best friend? Was I really spot's first love? Was I really Hotshot's first best friend? Was I ever really a sister to Sarah? Was I ever JoJo's favorite selling partner? Was I ever a brother to the newsie's? Was I ever a big brother to Matt? Was I ever a son to Mama and Daddy? Was I ever a good person? Was I ever really a boy? 

See here's the things with my thoughts, they kill me inside. I don't have to commit suicide, because my thought's already kill me. None of them are good, they're all bad. Even when I was a kid my thoughts were terrible. They always have been, and they always will be. It's stuck with me for the rest of my life. 

Just keep running Albert. You HAVE to keep running. But in the back of my mind there's one thing that doesn't want me to run. Finch. God! All I yearn for in these days are Finch. How did this day go from happy and good to terrible and miserable. Suddenly I feel a cold drop. Rain. Suddenly is starts pouring on me. Of course. Finch loved the rain though. He loved how wet it is, how cold it is, and how beautiful it is. I always tell him that nothing is more beautiful than you though. I run faster at the thought of Finch. He's the love of my life, but I can't turn back now. No not now. 

I remember when I first fell in love with Finch.

I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes

He was ALWAYS on my mind! Couldn't ever get him off!

I can't seem to drown you out long enough
I fell victim to the sound of your love
You're like a song that I ain't ready to stop
I got nothing but you on my mind

I was SO scared that he would hurt me. I had just started to find who I was in the world, and I had just fixed all my bruises from my past.

I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes
Don't wanna let the pieces fall out of place
I was only just a breath removed from going to waste
'Till I found salvation in the form of your