Unfaithful Betrayal || Killua Zoldyck x Fem!Reader

✿ The Subconscious

"While I appreciate the update, it seems my previous conclusion rang true." There's the brief sound of papers being rustled on Wing's end, as if he was preparing for an upcoming speech. But for (Name), she was hearing the gradual sound of white noise.

"I've undergone research into your dilemma in hopes of finding other peculiar cases but nothing comes close. No previous record to shed any light on this...situation."

But that meant there was still a chance, right? That there was still things unknown to all, that the last answer wasn't the actual one. That there was still a chance that she wasn't that role. Those words, words of delusional hope were stuck in her throat.

Wing registered her silence as something differently. "Oh, I guess I looked into it without your permission? I apologize for that. However, at this point, you should reconsider your perspective as a Nen Specialist."

"...Oh."

"I am aware that, based on your reaction before, this isn't good news for you."

"It isn't."

She was already dreading this conversation ever since Gon handed her the phone. Ever since Wing approached her with the possibility of her belonging to the Specialist category, she had been unnerved around him. It wasn't something she was actively aware of because of how many months its been since she left Yorknew, but that sense of dread was all too familiar with her.

Truthfully, (Name) pushed it out her mind the best she could after the conversation. Told herself things were harder for her because she wasn't a prodigy at Nen like the boys. But there was a difference between plausible deniability and foolishness. And she was anything but a fool.

"I advise you against any attempt to immaturely deny this or start a debate over what you wish you could be. You can't help it. This is your nature. Your reality."

The white noise was deafening and there was a weird feeling swimming around in her stomach.

"...I get it," she says, eyes glassing over. "Just accept what was chosen for me. Right?"

"(Name). I'm informing you of this in order to help you moving forward. Gon tells me you plan on entering a game that requires a Hatsu, correct?"

She knows Wing was just trying to help and save her from a future headache. Getting into that game without 'levelling up' would be downright impossible. If they each went in with the same or similar knowledge Kurapika had, then they could achieve their goal with certain success. But if just thinking of a hatsu was a headache, then how would she proceed when she probably already had one she didn't know about?

Realizing that was Wing's concern, (Name) replies, "Yeah... This category is going to get in the way of that, won't it?"

"That only depends on if your Hatsu has already been developed."

"Don't think you'd have the answer on how I would know that, huh?"

"(Name)."

"Sorry. Toning down the sass."

Wing sighs from his end. It was only then that (Name) took notice that his voice sounded more tired than usual. Immediately, she felt bad.

"Ideally, learning of your Hatsu would significantly boost your efforts. But having one without your knowledge would dampen them...unless..." There's some more paper rustling on his end.

"Have you noticed anything odd? Any extraordinary experiences or changes ever since you left Yorknew?"

"No."

"Ah, I see..." Wing sighs, yet again. (Name) had the strong urge to ship him a box of coffee beans. "Then that leaves you with a new task. Proof of Hatsu."

"Proof?"

"(Name), there isn't really much else I can tell you. You can either develop one with your category in mind or try to become aware of a Hatsu you didn't know existed. Which is even more problematic..." More rustling. "A lot of specialist aren't even aware of their powers and can't control it. If that's your case, then you need to prove you have one. Hence, proof of Hatsu."

"And how would I do that?!" She whines. "That's like making my subconscious aware of my consciousness. Do you know how ridiculously philosophical that sounds?"

"...That is all I can offer for you. The rest, you must discover on your own."

"You're right... Sorry. And, thank you, Wing."

"I wish you three the best of luck."

The phone call ends. (Name) tosses the phone onto her bed before running a hand through the roots of her hair. Everything was processing. She was digesting the information, but her dilemma on the matter remained the same. Prove she had a Hatsu or create one in time so she could come along for Greed Island. Also known as figuring out the impossible because she needed to.

She takes a moment to breathe in and out. So that was it for her, then? She just had to accept things and move on. Just accept that everything so far -- that conversation, this situation, being benched from before -- accept that she had no control of it and keep moving.

If that wasn't the most frustrating thing.

No, she thought. She refuses to just sit back and take everything like that.

Before she knows it, she's in the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets. Once eyes finds the glass, her decision was solidified. She knew she was being ridiculous but something inside her told her to try. That, if she can prove herself wrong on this, she would've won. She would prove that she can control something. That she has control over something.

That he would be wrong.

Everything was in place. (Name) quickly raises her hands to the sides of the glass. With a huff, she releases her aura. But just like those times before, there was no change in the water. No taste, no rupture -- nothing.

But she can't give up. She just can't. So she keeps on trying, refusing to give up.

She needed a change. She needed a different result in this test. One that would sway her away, telling her what she needed to do. Guiding her towards a hatsu. And...maybe even proving that the category was--

CRACK

Gasping, (Name) opens her eyes. The glass was fully intact, but the water changed into a solid property. Ice. Solid, cracking, ice... Her eyes water for various reasons, one of which being she did it. She got a reaction out the water. But this reaction fell into the "other" category.

Which meant that it was undeniable now. She was, without a doubt, a--

"(Name)?"

(Eye Color) irises shoot towards the kitchen entrance. There stood Killua with an expression that quickly went from confusion to unreadable. It didn't take long for her to realize the gears turning in his head.

"What," he began, taking slow steps forward, "was that...?"

Was it so wrong for her to want to have control over something in her life?

••••••

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