Nonexistent

~Chapter Twenty-Two~

TW// Minor phsyical and verbal abuse - Be safe out there y'all!

Taking a deep breath, I opened up my front door, locking it behind me and making my way upstairs to my room. I ignored the smell coming from the living room and kitchen, and the noise of shifting bottles. Tossing my backpack by my desk, I took a sip of water before setting the bottle back down on my desk and turning to go back down the stairs.

Stepping into the kitchen, I looked up to see my mother with a wane smile, bloodshot eyes and dark circles underneath her eyes. I tried to give her a small smile back, at least until I saw the figure sitting on one of the barstools in front of my mother.

The man was tall, taller than me, and had broad shoulders and a graying head of hair that used to be a glossy black. His brown eyes met mine, and thousands of memories flashed through my head. From being pushed on the swings to walks on the beach, splashing waves at each other.

"-zzie, Lizzie?" Shaking my head, my father's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"What- what are you doing here?" I stammered out, my heart rate elevating as I took a small step back. My father stood up, and my mom straightened from her leaning posture. My chin tipped up slightly as I had to look up to meet his eyes, his met mine for a second before he glanced away, choosing instead to gaze around the kitchen as if he had never been there.

Which, he really hadn't. He had left almost five years ago, and a lot had changed since then. I had changed, so had my mother.

"I wanted to visit, and uh, see you. See you both, I mean." My father stammered out, his eyes moving around rapidly as he avoided all eye contact with both my mother and myself. I scoffed and moved away from him and to the pantry, searching for something small to eat.

My mother did pretty much the same, but she was unable to hold back her smart retort, "Really? Five years and now you decide it's time to visit your only daughter?" His silence was odd for a moment, and I turned around to look back as he had turned to looking at the floor, with an almost guilty look. Rather than stop, my mother continued.

"Oh? She's not your only daughter, is she? Couldn't even spare some sympathy for her? Or even me, who's been taking care of her for the last five years! Oh most definitely not, just went and decided, oh you know, the last one didn't really work out too well, let's try again and maybe this time I'll stick around the whole time. Or, maybe I'll just leave again when I get bored and don't want to deal with the responsibility of raising a child!" I flinched as my mother raised her voice, shrinking into myself as I attempted to avoid her anger.

I knew she wasn't angry at me, but being in the room with someone whose fiery temper could match my own was terrifying, and I'd been at the receiving end more than once. My father didn't even flinch, if I could even really call him that. Instead, he straightened up with a harsh glare at my mother.

"I was the one who left? You're the one who told me to leave! You said that you didn't want me here!" His voice grew louder, and I could feel myself start to shake.

"I told you to leave because I didn't want my daughter to grow up with a father who was cheating on her own mother! I didn't want that for her! I didn't want her to grow up as screwed up as I did!" My mother was outright screaming at this point, her face bright with anger, and emerald eyes glassy with unshed tears. I felt my own breath catch at her words, having never really wondered why exactly my father wasn't around, or why my mother fought so hard to keep me.

I could hardly remember the days in court, the finalizing of the divorce, and the custody case. My father had tried to take me, I think, but my mother had fought long and hard for full custody over me. And after, my father was never in my life, it was like he didn't exist, until now.