insufferable - AFI

rail me

I sat on his couch and sobbed, "He's just such a piece of fucking shit! I fucking hate it! I fucking hate him!" the words flew out of my mouth like it was nothing.

I didn't hate him.

I wished I did, I wish I could just stop loving him and get the idea of the old Ashton out of my head. He was gone and I knew he was gone and never coming back I just couldn't admit it.

"You deserve better Rae, so so much better," he told me his voice in a sincere tone.

"I just want my Ashton back" I sobbed even more feeling his muscled arms around my small figure, I liked it. I liked the feeling of his toned abs on my chest and our bodies pressed firmly together.

"I know you do" he whispered in my ear as he held me tighter.

I wanted to kiss him, no I wanted to fuck him, I need to fuck him.

I slowly leaned back and wiped the tears from my eyes as I just looked at him, staring at every single inch of his body. I never noticed how attractive Calum was until now, I mean I knew he was hot obviously but I never checked him out you know.

We just looked at each other in silence, mine in a sexual manner and his in a sympathetic way. I mean how else would he look at me im sobbing on his couch in a shitty toxic relationship with his best friend?

My eyes went from his lips and his eyes, he noticed.

He backed away a little moving further on the grey couch, I know it isn't the most ideal time to have sex with Calum but it wouldn't be the first person I cheated on Ashton with so why not?

I licked my lips and wiped my eyes making sure I looked at least somewhat presentable.

I learned a little, just very little when I felt his hand on my shoulder to block me from moving any closer. "God, Rae as much as I would fucking love to kiss you I can't I can't do that to Ashton and you're not in the right mindset your vulnerable, I wouldn't feel right" he sighed getting up but I followed him.

"I'm in the right state of mind! I know what im doing and I know how im feeling!" I raised my voice slightly as Calum was taken aback by my small outburst, "Not do that to Ashton my arse! Do you see how he treats me? Show me how someone should treat me!"

"Fuck" he muttered looking at the floor running his hands through his hair as he was contemplating his decisions.

"Please Calum, I haven't gotten laid in forever please" I begged, I wanted someone to fuck me good, someone to fuck me like they cared. And I've known Calum since I was what? 16? I trust him.

"Fuck I can't we can't, I can't kiss you, Rae, not right now at least," he said sighing once again with the same panicked expression on his face.

"Fine," I told him and his body language eased up "we don't kiss, we just fuck" I proposed the idea expecting him to go back into his full-fledged panic but to my shock, he didn't.

He looked up, eyes widened but this time in amusement.

"No kissing?" he asked as I nodded.

The next thing I knew in the blink of an eye I was naked on his couch, I have no clue how we got here I practically blacked out. I sat there on his couch his lips attached to my neck as he sucked making his way down.

He kissed every inch of my body, my chest my boobs my stomach all the way down my legs, and my inner thighs. His lips slowly made their way to clit as he looked at me for consent to which I nodded.