the first time I kissed Calum hood I was 13.
he went to a school 20 minutes away and he was an all-star soccer player who played against Hallies team time and time again.
it was one simple kiss.
but we never talked about it after I met him again, we never brought it up for Ashton's sake.
3 months after the band was formed I kissed Calum hood once again.
Me and Calum fucked more than once but I did it right, I waited till he was black-out drunk then I left before he woke up.
and whenever I would fuck other guys it was always just Calum, but I switched it up a little but for fun.
but mostly Calum
I mean hell would you not fuck Calum Hood if you had the chance??
I can't describe how I felt because I loved Ashton but I also loved Calum, I dated Ashton for 12 years, and for 11 of those, I was fucking Cal.
After we fucked when Calum was sober we started dating, I kept telling him I was going to break up with Ashton even though I had no intention.
I don't regret what I did.
I don't regret it for a second because Calum made me happy.
"so we don't tell Ashton?" he asked once again and I nodded.
"I'll leave him eventually but Cal I really wanna be with you" I begged putting my arm on the man who just sighed back at me.
"Rae he's my best friend I don't know if I can do this" Calum spoke and I felt a frown on my face.
"Cal remember the sex? come on we can just be a regular couple but you know, in secret" I told the boy whose body language didn't change at my words.
"Rae fucking you was one thing but dating? I don't know".
"Ashton fucking deserves it! Calum you make me happy! Ashton doesn't, you said it yourself he doesn't love me" I paused but Calum didn't reply.
"Break up with him first," Calum told me as my eyes went wide.
"Calum I can't-" he cut me off.
"Raelynn you break up with him" he sighed not looking me in the eyes.
"Fine"
but you know him as Caleb Goodman.
______________
there's literally 2 chapters then the epilogue goodbye
:))) hold on to ur horses
YOU ARE READING
insufferable - AFI
Fanfiction"how can a love as true as hers be returned only half as strong as she gave" - @lukeisntreal on twitter Love is pain, or at least that's what they always say. But that would be an understatement Because loving Ashton Irwin is insufferable.
