𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐞, 𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

broken memories

Red.

Red is a colour of potential. Explaining this colour is an intricate process. Some say red is the colour of love and life. It holds aspects of romance in its deep hues and is often used to represent someone's love for their partner. A colour so bold and powerful fits well with the word love. A social construct where everyone can become its victim.

Some say red is a warm colour, a type that radiates heat during the winter blues. If you stand in the sun and let the rays hit your skin, you can feel the colour red. Red is hot, some say. It's a sign of spice, heat and love. All three words fit under this colour people associate with romance.

So why doesn't the colour red mean love to Sanemi?

Red is the colour of rage. It unleashes the visibility of anger and hatred, a colour Sanemi hates. Memories cling to the shades of blood and the sounds of screams. Red is Sanemi's hatred for this world. The hate he has for the world that took his mother away.

His room is full of thick air. A layer of sweat covers Sanemi's body as he tosses through the nightmare. His body is fighting it, not wanting to remember the red he saw. He can't stand going back to looking at his mother. The sweetest and most precious woman Sanemi knew was taken away by the colour red. Red took his mother.

His mind shows him a black void - an endless space where light and vision are unknown. He runs. He starts screaming at the emptiness for freedom from these memories. His legs move before his mind, taking him deeper into the darkness, hoping to find something. They stop at a line breaking the black. It's white and pure, holding the warmth people say the colour red does.

A light appears in the distance. Sanemi wipes the tears from his eyes, squinting at the new light in his dark. It's warm. Though it's not red or white, it's blue. A figure appears. It's kind, and the smile brightens the darkness.

"Mother?" Sanemi mumbles, slowly walking toward the woman. She looks at Sanemi, her eyes holding a million stars as she looks at her son.

Her smile fades. Soon, it drops completely, and the black void sinks. Sanemi sprints, watching his mother's face fade before falling deeper into the darkness. He closes his eyes, screaming his mother's name as the darkness swallows him.

She can't leave him again. He can't stand to watch her walk away another time.

A warm touch careers Sanemi's tear-stained cheeks, brushing a thumb under his eyes. "Don't cry, my dear son," Her voice is calm, her tone is soft, and she smiles. Sanemi opens his eyes. He's no longer in the sinking darkness.

Immediately, Sanemi recognises the walls and the flooring. He remembers the scenery of the bathroom he grew to hate so much. And when he looks down, he's met with why this bathroom is so fucking horrific.

His mother lays in his hold, blood dripping from the cuts and slashes along her arms. She is fragile, her eyes slowly losing their shine. Though, she continues to smile as she looks at Sanemi. "Don't cry," She repeats, thumb brushing his cheeks. "I hate seeing my baby cry,"

"Mother," Sanemi manages to cough up a word. The only word he said while he had her alive in his arms. The memories are returning. Those broken memories repeat themselves on a record.

"Sanemi. I love you, sweetie," She mumbles, her smile faltering as her skin loses colour. "Look after Genya for me, okay? I promise I will make the world treat you well," Those were the last words Sanemi heard his mother say. It was a promise to him.

A promise that this world will forever treat him and his brother well.

Sanemi watches his mother's chest spot moving. He stares as she smiles, closing her eyes and dropping her hand to rest in Sanemi's. She was in pain, yet the smile on her face never fell. It faltered and brightened. But it never disappeared. Even after losing her life, she continued to smile.