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( part fourteen, a memory buried deeply. )
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throughout his entire life, there are already a few people who have managed to capture minamoto kou's heart; there was a girl he once met in the playground, who became his playmate for just that day — she was pretty, more than those who he usually saw in his kindergarten, though now, her pretty face seemed to be blurry in his mind. he guess the girl wasn't as pretty as he once thought she was, basing how he already seemed to forget even the biggest detail on her face. however, the second person who minamoto kou fell for, has a face that remains fresh in his mind, he was sure that the image of that person's face would remain in his mind for a long time, after all, that person is someone he saw in a drama show in televisions. it was the first time the blonde fell for a celebrity, the second he saw the said celebrity acting in a certain tear-jerking scene, his heart instantly skipped a beat, and from there he became a fan.
he had come to like people, he had seen numerous romance genre films, and had been surrounded by people in love. to him, it's clear that catching potential romantic feelings towards someone is nowhere out of usual, but what is out of usual is that he somehow caught these feelings towards someone he never wants to fall for. but then here he is, inside a dilemma where he is conflicted about his thoughts that seems to have already split into two parts — one where his thoughts revolve around wanting to see mitsuba sousuke right this moment, while the other opposes those thoughts, saying to his self that those thoughts are nothing, those feelings are just imaginary, to begin with. though that doesn't seem to be as convincing as he thought it is because he knew somewhere in that thought, there was a small hole that tells him and lets him feel that everything about his feelings for mitsuba sousuke is real.
the following day, as kou walked towards the school's building, he sighted a certain pink head walking steps away ahead of him. normally, he'd run as fast as he can without any second thought, then he'd greet him a "good morning" with a smile plastered on his face, but today, he's unusually hesitant to do those things he has routinely been doing up until now. he knew that the only suspect behind this hesitation is the dilemma that he may or may not be holding feelings for the said pink head.
feeling flustered, he didn't realize that he had been stuck in the same place for who knows how long. using the back of his hand, he wiped one side of his cheek, in an attempt to erase the faint blush on his cheeks. when he looked around him again, mitsuba was no longer in sight and was probably already inside, the blonde let out a sigh as he continue his tracks.
since then, minamoto kou didn't try to meet mitsuba sousuke. he simply avoided being in the same place at the same time as the said boy, though it was quite impossible to do as the universe seems to go against him, and pulls him to him much often now that he's trying to avoid him. still, he'd try his best to get out of the scene to prevent mitsuba from seeing him. so far, it has been days, and he was extremely exhausted — he does think that it's pretty stupid and pointless and... well, what does he even gain from it? it's just that he couldn't seem to muster the courage to face him after he thought of complicated cringe feelings towards him that leads him to almost fully admit that he really likes mitsuba, and not just platonically.
