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( part sixteen, the dream's end. )
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the walk home after school ended a blur for minamoto kou — he didn't even know how he managed to arrive home, all he knew was when reality caught up to him, he was already sitting against the door of his dark bedroom.
mitsuba sousuke has passed away. as much as kou wants to be in denial and scream about how impossible that is, it's no use because that's the truth. when mitsuba's classmate told him the news, the first thing that came into kou's mind was what a sick joke that was, and as a response, he forced a laugh at the boy's face while he felt his own heart falling. the classmate only showed much concern at the response, but he seemed unsure about what to do next.
somehow, they both ended up going to mitsuba's homeroom teacher's faculty room where they had the information confirmed. mitsuba's mother had delivered the news just this morning before their homeroom class started. apparently, mitsuba was involved in a traffic accident and unfortunately, he didn't make it.
to think that kou was talking to mitsuba just before the accident occurred made him feel like he could've at least done something to prevent it from happening. maybe if he could've been more convincing that mitsuba really didn't need to buy those damn potatoes, or maybe if he should've been more insisting that he can go with him, then maybe he would be with mitsuba right now, joining him in his daily photography session instead of being inside the faculty room with such depressing air. there was something he could've done to save mitsuba, yet there was none, and it breaks his heart to think so.
kou did remember stopping in his tracks when he exited the school building and thinking that he should head to mitsuba's place because a part of him was positive that once he reached the pink head's apartment, knocked on its door, mitsuba would open the door with his annoying face. there was a tug in his heart when he thought about this possibility, making his feet sprint without any room to think.
when he arrived at the place, he was pretty much beat with his unstable breathing and hot beaded sweat rolling down his forehead. he didn't move from his spot, he only remained still from where he was — looking at the apartment door from another floor that he remembered mitsuba went inside to last night. his heart then began to speed up at the sight — there would be no turning back once he went to that door because what was behind that very door is a truth that will immediately pour ice-cold water onto his face.
kou considered himself someone who was tough. he was only a kid when his mother passed away, and with the huge scar it left on his family, he forced himself to become strong enough to be seen by both his father and brother as someone reliable. he really hates the idea of himself being someone associated with the term "weak," but this time, as he stood in front of a particular apartment building, he couldn't bring himself to be strong enough to go up those flights of stairs and knock on the truth's door. somehow, he managed to win over the devastating feeling, pulling himself to the ground, and head back to his own home.
