is there a second chance? // dnf

i feel their eyes on me

Clay POV

"open the door!" nick shouts as he bangs against the door. I quickly wash my face and open the door.

"dude! why do you always use my bathroom and lock yours?! use your own!" he says and slams the door.

"cause i wanna annoy you!" i laugh and walk to the kitchen. I make myself a bread and sit myself down on the couch.

I live with nick, my best friend. he lives in a huge house that he got from his parents. His parents are rich, so nick basically has everything.

but he's also making good money with the new club.

Nick let me stay here cause i'm not able to work. since the day i relapsed, i couldn't stop anymore.

I was so full with heroin that i couldn't think straight. I got kicked out of my apartment and lost my job.

that's where nick came. I have known him since we were little, we just got torn apart. He moved to Texas back and then ended up in London.

I came to London cause i got sick of Florida. I was there my whole life, i wanted something new.

so I came to London, where my best friend lives.

I got addicted to heroin again. It's hard to stay without it, but i can make it. longer than just 30 minutes.

I can control myself sometimes.

Nick also takes heroin, but he doesn't do it as often as I do. He's not addicted to it. what is really impressing to be honest.

It was nice to see Alex again, but he reminded me of George. I didn't think about him for months.. okay maybe at night i sometimes did, cause i was alone laying there in my thoughts.

but while the sun was up, i didn't think of him for moths.. until Alex came.

Suddenly someone enters the kitchen.

I look over and see that it's Alex? "what are you doing here?" i ask, he looks confused to me and then he looks around.

"what am i doing here?" he asks, i let out a laugh. "that's what i asked." i say "i thought i have gone home." he says confused.

"Oh, you are up. good morning." nick says as he enters the kitchen. "Morning?" Alex says. "I didn't know where you lived and you were drunk as fuck, so i took you with me." nick explains it to Alex.

"ohh, thanks man." Alex smiles "you wanna eat something?" I ask "no, thanks. I actually gotta go, I've a meeting today." he says.

"of course. I'll give you a hoodie, cause your t-shirt doesn't look that good anymore." nick laughs as he walks to his room with Alex.

I'm wondering if he still has contact to George.
what if he does? should i like- talk to George or something?

He surely still has contact to George. I'm wondering what he's doing now that he's all grown up.

is he still with him? or did they broke up? do i still love him or not? do i even love someone. "Clay!" a known voice shouts.

"Lezabel, what are you doing here?" I ask confused "not happy to see me or what?" she laughs.

"no, i'm happy." i laugh and she gives me a kiss on the cheek. to clear it up, she's not my girlfriend. but also not just a friend.

we are getting to know each other. she's able to come in cause our front door is at this time always open.

"you wanna go somewhere?" she asks "sure, why not."
"get ready and come with me!" she says with a smile.

Lezabel doesn't know about my addiction. she knows that i smoke, drink and take sometimes some drugs.