is there a second chance? // dnf

replacement?

9th December...

Before I could ring the doorbell, nick opens the door. the sad look on his face tells me that dream still hasn't come back yet.

"look George, as soon as he's back i'll call you. you don't have to come every single day at the same time." he says.

"but why hasn't he come back yet? you said only two days." i say "i don't know George." he says.

"maybe something happened to him.." i say "we've to call him missing. what if something happened?!"

"we can't." he says "why not?" i ask.
"he's surely on drugs. If the cops find him like that.." he says.

"or he's dead and will never be found." i say
"or he just got sick of us." nick looks me in the eyes.

"nice one." i let out a forced laugh, but nick stays quiet. "he can't get sick of us. he only has us, right?"

"he told me that we're the only friends to him!" i say "then he lied." nick says "he has a lot of other friends that he got to know while taking heroin." nick tells me.

"he told me that he loves you." he suddenly says "what?" i say. my heart beats faster. "why didn't he tell me?" i ask "he wanted to."

"but?"

"but now he's gone. maybe he has found someone new.." nick says "a new best friend and another lover."

"what are you taking about?! none else would want him except from us! none would want a drug addicted person!" i shout.

"none expect a drug addicted themselves." he says and my air disappears. I turn around without saying anything and feel tears filling up my eyes.

i slam the door open and throw myself on my bed.

I don't have to work, I've taken holidays until new year. luckily it worked, but only because I've been working so much.

i pull my phone out and dial dreams number. I put the speaker to my ear and wait for him to pick up the phone.

but the only thing i hear is:

the number you have dialed does not exist..

i lay my phone away and stare at the ceiling. I haven't gone out for days. I don't have the motivation for it.

I don't know what to do, with who to talk or who to watch. I don't know with who to fall asleep while watching a movie or with who to eat.

Dream was in that place.

was

To do something like that with Alex? no, he has nick. about Arlon we don't have to start talking. Tai is.. no.

why did he delete his phone number?
maybe nick is right about dream finding a replacement for me..

maybe i'm getting karma for leaving him.
for replacing him.. but- i- i didn't-

ugh! my head hurts.
am i going to spend Christmas alone again?
I wanted to spend it with dream, but now that he's gone..

i pull my phone out and click on the chat from dream and me. I scroll up until i finde an voice message.

I start the voice message, pull the speaker to my ear and close my eyes.

"George! you won't believe what happened!" he laughs. "patches feel down the closet, but she somehow did a backflip! you don't-" dream wheezes "-you don't know how funny it looked!"

the voice message ends.

"you fucking wanker! just leaving like a fucking pussy! at least tell me when you finde someone new, like i did. I told you.. fucking bitch." i send the voice message to dream.

the bell rings out of nowhere.

i sigh before getting up and making my way to the door. I open the door, only to see Arlon standing there. "Dude, what the fuck do you want?!" i shout as i feel like i'm about to explode.

"I wanna hang out with you." he smiles "if you don't leave me the fuck alone, i'll call the cops! fuck off!" i shout and slam the door.

he rang the bell and banged against the door a few more times, but then he left.

:]