is there a second chance? // dnf

your fault

18th December...

Alex POV

"It's been weeks and he still hasn't gotten better." i say.

"you don't have to worry. I'm sure he'll be okay." nick kisses my forehead. my hands go up to his and i look into his eyes.

"I'm not sure. he has none expect us now." i say, nick stays quiet. "will we spend Christmas with George?" i ask "of course, we won't leave him alone." nick smiles.

"okay, good."

"i'm gonna go now, i'll stop at George's place." i say as i put my jacket on "alright. see you tomorrow." he gives me a kiss on my cheek.

I rang George's bell and it took him a few minutes, but he opened it.

"George! how are you." i hit him on the shoulder "i'm alright. what about you?" he sits himself down on the couch.

"same.. what the fuck happened in here?" i see all the mess around the floor. "I'm too lazy to clean up." he says "you wanna clean up for me?"

"hell nah, you can do it yourself."

he laughs and stares at the ground. I sit myself next to him and throw my arm around him. "we have to do something together.. but what?" i say.

"i don't want to. I'm sick." he says "you are not. don't try to fool me." i say. "you have to go outside. you haven't been outside since.. i don't even know." i say.

"that's a lie. I go outside every day!" he says
"yeah, to check if dream has come back. I mean the real go outside." i say.

he stays quiet.

i look at the black screened tv, as i suddenly hear sniffs next to me.

"what am i supposed to do?" George says as he starts to wipe his tears away, "he still hasn't come back.."

shit.

"no need to cry George.. he- he surely will come back.." i say as i hug him "when.. it's been ages!" he says.

"s- soon."

"what if he has found someone else..?" he mumbles, "he hasn't." i say. "How do you wanna know.. it could be karma." he says.

"we know dream, he wouldn't do it this way." i tell George "he would tell us if he doesn't want anything to do with us."

George stays quiet.

"you wanna spend Christmas with us?" I ask
"Thanks, but no. I think i'll go back to Florida for Christmas." he says.

"that's a good idea. you can spend it with your family." i say "mhm." he makes.

"you done crying?" i ask "yeah." he laughs
"crybaby." i smile "shut up, idiot."

I stayed until 9pm at his place and left.

As soon as i see my door, i see someone standing there. As i get closer i see who it is..
Lara.

"what are you doing here again?" I ask annoyed "Alex please, let us talk." she says. "There's nothing to talk about." i open the door, but turn around to face her.

"trust me, there is. please let me come in and talk to you." she says "will you leave me alone after that?"

"yes. I will, unless you don't want to." she smiles.

"come in." i say and walk into the living room, where i sit down on the couch. "It looks nice here, but it's cold." she says with a smile "i like it cold."

"really? your dad also liked it cold." she smiles
"sit down on the couch." i say and without taking time, she sits herself down.

"so.. what do you want." i say "uhm.. how do i start.." she laughs. "you know why i don't see you as a mother, Lara." i say "how about you explain those thing."

"you have every right to hate me, but.. i still want to be by your side." she says "i didn't have it easy you know.. when your dad died i was alone. my parents had kicked me out and i didn't have any friends."

"i always wanted to kill my-" i cut her off "there it is again. only thinking about you." i say "no, you got the-" i cut her off again.

"I don't wanna hear about you wanting to kill yourself. I've heard it my whole childhood, because it was my 'fault'!"

"no! It wasn't!" she says "that's what you said! every single time! to a eleven year old boy, without any friends!" i shout.

"you said all those horrible things to a child and gave him the fault!"

"It wasn't your fault! I was wrong!" she starts crying "don't you dare to cry in my house!" i shout.
"It was your fault that she took her life! because you made her life a living hell!" i shout.

"I'm sorry!" she cries "you were her mother! you had to fucking believe her and me! we both told you what was happening and you didn't give a shit!" i shout.

"you didn't give a damn shit, until Angelina took her life!" i shout, she gasp. "yeah, i fucking said the thing you couldn't say." i say as i feel tears in my eyes.

"you- you were her mother.. you were supposed to believe her! she- she was raped by your fucking- fucking boyfriend and you didn't give a damn! Get the fuck out of my god damn house, you piece of shit!" i shout as i feel tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Alex please.." she cries "get out! and don't you dare to fucking contact me anymore! you are dead to me, do you hear me! Dead!" i shout.

she looks at me, but then runs crying outside.

I go to my bedroom and lay myself down to sleep with wet eyes.

:]