Blinded by hate

Ivan has feelings?

I open my eyes and I'm blinded by a light.

I move my head to the side and see a blank white room.

My leg throbs and my arm stings.

I look down to see a couple needles in my arms.

I gag and look away and try not to hurl.

I hate needles. The idea them in me is making me violently ill.

I look down and notice I'm in a hospital gown with nothing underneath.

Sexy.

I hope I look decent but I probably don't.

I try to stay calm and breathe.

You got out. It's okay. Your okay.

The door opens and I freeze in anticipation.

Ivan walks in and i audibly breathe out.

"You look like shit" i whisper.

Like he hasn't slept in days.

"Yeah well shockingly I was worried about you, you've been out a couple of days." He reply's sitting next to me. Watching me.

"Stop" i whisper.

I cant talk too weak.

"What?"

"Your looking at me too close and I look horrible" I reply quietly.

"You look fine baby"

I sigh.

He shifts closer, I pretend not to notice.

"Love, can I ask you something?" He says quietly.

Like we're sharing a secret.

I nod looking at him.

I like the name love.

God he's beautiful.

It's painful.

"What did they do to you in there?" He asks.

His voice is strained.

"Nothing really, I was locked in a room, fed once a day and questioned about you sometimes but nothing bad I wasn't tortured or..raped" I say.

He drops his head and I notice he breathes out.

I'm not sure why I tell him, but right now it's hard to remember I don't like him. Considering he's here. And he came for me.

"But the worst part was not knowing. Every time someone walked into a room I was so scared that they'd hurt me. I tried to block myself mentally and turn off everything so I wouldn't be so scared but..I was always terrified." I admit.

"I was never going to leave you with them, You must know that. I was always coming to get you"

"I know. I knew. But I wanted to get myself out"

"I know, you did. I watched you kill 10 men and we saw the bodies when we walked in there. I perhaps under estimated you" he says smiling.

"I guess you definitely have a blood kink now" I sigh.

He rolls his eyes but smiles.

"When can I go? I want these needles out" I say glancing at them and dry heaving.

"Tomorrow morning I believe"

"Will I be here alone tonight then?" I ask cheerfully.

But I'm actually terrified.

I'm not ready yet.

Ivan being here calms me a bit.

Say what you want about him. He showed up when I needed him.

And I know he'd kill for me, he already has.

He could protect me.

Since I'm a blob right now.

"You won't ever be alone, would you like someone in particular to stay?" He asks.

He's so odd the way he holds himself.

He asks the question like he genuinely has no feelings, like it won't at all effect him who I chose.

Like a robot.

I rest my head on the pillow and look at his chest when I grab his hand.

Don't know why I'm so shy.

"Me?" He breathes out.

Is he nervous.

I quickly nod looking at him.

He smiles again, my favourite ones.

"Okay" he says.

He picks up his phone and calls someone, I don't know what he's saying since it's in Russian.

He never lets go of my hand.

I close my eyes and rest a bit.

When I open them I see on the clock a few hours has passed.

Ivan's on the chair in the corner eyes closed.

I watch him for a bit.

And do something incredibly stupid.

"Ivan?" I whisper.

He opens his eyes and smiles lazily.

"Is that chair comfortable?"

He watches me for a moment, I hate when he studies me like he can see right through me.

"It's alright"

"If you'd like, you can sleep with me. Just for tonight."

I hold my breath.

I know he hates me.

And he's just being nice because I'm dead.

But...

"Okay" he replies.

Getting up and walking over.

"Take off the shoes" i say.

He does.

He's dressed in a white t shirt and black pants.

I scoot towards where I'm hooked to the wall and he climbs in next to me.

The bed is big, but not big enough where we aren't touching.

"I'd roll over but I'm naked under this and the back is open" I say.

He laughs at that.

"Don't worry"

I close my eyes and listen to his breathing.

It takes me longer to fall asleep but before I do, I don't miss the fact he kisses the top of my head when he must think I'm asleep.

Or the fact he wraps an arm around my waist to pull me closer so my head is on his chest.