Blinded by hate

Make love

I'm chained to a bed in nothing but my underwear.

Rust chains dig into my wrists and ankles.

I scream pulling and pulling.

The door to my cell opens and Adam walks in.

"You thought you'd got rid of me?" He sneers.

I scream again squirming and pulling terror running through me.

He un buckles his pants slowly.

"Your so beautiful, better than my wife" he says removing his belt and un doing his shirt.

"NO NO" I beg beginning to sob.

Please don't do this to me.

I'll never be okay again.

Don't violate me like this.

He pulls his trousers off so he's in nothing but boxers.

"IVAN HELP ME PLEASE" I shriek.

I'm in agony.

Adam walks towards me a horrific grin on his face.

I close my legs and scream, hopelessly.

He wrenches my legs apart and I scream again.

"IVAN PLEASE"

I wrench my eyes open and sit forward in my bed sobbing.

I look around and see I'm in my room in America.

I look down calming slightly when I see  I'm in a t shirt and pyjama bottoms.

I'm safe.

It doesn't calm me that much.

I shake so bad I think I'll die and I taste vomit at the back of my throat.

I choke on my tears trying to calm down.

The door flys open and Ivan stands there.

Shirtless in tracksuit bottoms.

His hair is messy from sleep and he looks scared.

He runs towards me "Elle what is it? What's wrong?" He asks me.

I cant speak.

Im trying so hard to stop, this is embarrassing.

But I can't.

I can only continue to cry.

"Elle tell me, I'll fix it what is it?"

Im not sure what on earth I was thinking.

But for some reason I lean forward and wrap my arms around him.

He's warm and strong and stable.

Everything i'm not.

His heartbeat calms me a little.

He wraps his arms around me and strokes my hair.

I had no idea he could ever be this gentle.

"Elle what is it, your breaking my heart" he whispers softly.

"Bad dream" i mutter.

He squeezes me tighter.

"I know what that's like"

I continue to breath steadily.

He doesn't call me weak or push me off and I'm grateful for it.

He just lets me hold him.

I pull away eventually.

"I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise"

I sigh and sit up.

"What is it baby?"

"I- I don't want to go back to sleep" I admit.

"You need to sleep, my wife can't have bags under her eyes" he says seriously.

I roll my eyes smiling a bit.

He takes my hand and walks, I follow him.

We walk out into the hall.

Into his room.

"Your not trying to fuck me right?" I say, only half joking.

"Not in the state your in now, besides we don't do that"

I pause.

"We don't fuck?" I ask him.

I assumed we'd have to eventually, when I give him a child.

He's attractive enough where I suppose I wouldn't mind.

"No I don't want to fuck you" he says making the bed while I stand there like an idiot.

I am offended.

"Oh." I say quietly.

He turns around and walks to me cupping my face.

All air in the room is suddenly gone.

"I don't want to fuck you. Fuck is a meaningless word, meaningless action. I  fuck random women who mean nothing to me"

Right..

"Your my wife, Elle, If you decide one day to let me into your bed I won't fuck you, I'll make love to you"

Jesus.

Okay okay.

Breathe Elle.

"Whys that?" I ask.

"I hold you to a very high regard, I respect you, a lot. I don't want to violate you, not the first time at least" he smirks.

"And when do you plan for us to..make love?" I ask him, curious.

"When you invite me, Elle"

Hmm.

"Why am I in your room?" I ask him.

"It's easier to fall asleep when..someone else is with you"

"You couldn't just sleep in my bed with me?"

"Well, I wasn't invited. So I'm inviting you to mine"

I nod and walk to his bed climbing under the sheets.

He follows, we lie down facing each other.

"What If I wake you again?" I ask.

"I don't mind" he replies switching off the light.

I close my eyes immediately.

I listen to his breathing slow, meaning he must me asleep.

"Keep acting like this and I'll invite you to my bed very soon" I whisper.