Broken Together

8- Another promise

Song of the chapter:
Bright- Julie and the Phantoms Cast

"So are you still playing guitar" I ask Ellie and she nods

"Yeah, it's hard writing songs without you though" she smiles "are you still playing?"

"No" I say not meeting her eyes

"I'm sorry Jules" she squeezes my shoulder and I look back at her.

We've been here for over an hour, after the initial moments of working past years of cobwebs we finally found the friendship that we had. Still walking on eggshells slightly the small jokes and teasing smiles are returning, my mind scolds me for not trying this earlier.

"No, I'm sorry" I say after a moment of silence and Ellie just shakes her head, her face softening.

"Honestly I'm just glad that you spoke to me again, life was starting to get a bit too boring" she shrugs it off but the pit in my stomach just grows.

She notices quickly and places her hand over mine with a soft smile "Juliette, listen to me. I don't care what's happened or how long it's been, I've missed you so much. If you want to tell me everything or nothing I don't care. I'm happy that we can spend time together again, believe it or not I've really missed you"

I don't deserve these people, Parker and Ellie. I don't deserve the understanding looks or the kind words.

"I was such a shit friend, I was a shit person" I mutter.

"No you weren't, you were hurting and suffering" more than she could ever know, I think. "That doesn't make you a shit person, that makes you completely normal. What if we both decide here to put the last couple of years behind us and start over or pick up where we left off? You don't have to explain yourself or Parker to me but if you need to talk about anything that goes on in that crazily complicated head of yours then just let me know"

I stare at Ellie for a moment, my heart shattering and rebuilding, I don't have words.

"Thank you so much" I finally whisper and the comforting glance tells me that she means every word.

"The thing with Parker is... complicated I guess" I say after a second.

"The best things always are" she shrugs and drinks some more of her coffee.

"He didn't let me push him away, and it annoyed the hell out of me until it didn't. By then I was too deep to shove him out of my life, that's what I do and then he was just there. Not even in the comforting way at first, he was just always there and soon I stopped pushing and let him help me. It sounds stupid" I bury my head in my hands and Ellie just chuckles.

"It sounds romantic"

"No, not like that!" I shoot up and she raises a light eyebrow as if to say as if.

"He's just Parker, he's...." I fade off not knowing what he is, do I feel that tingle when he stares at me like I mean everything in that moment? Completely, I somehow get consumed by him whenever he's near and... "fuck!"

Ellie smiles to herself and I just shoot daggers at the smug look. "What? It's not my fault I'm naturally gifted"

"I can't do anything with Parker that way, way too many tangles. Plus I'm still a mess, I can't put that on him anymore than I already am" I blurt out and only pause to drink some of my own coffee.

"Sounds like you won't rather than can't. He's isn't too hard on the eyes either, he looks at you like he wants that mess as well Jules" she gives me that all freaking knowing look that makes her sea eyes sparkle.