Broken Together

11- Time does not heal

Song of the chapter:
Little Freak- Harry Styles

"Parker made you sad" Bella states once we've eaten and sit in my car.

"No, well, no he made me more mad I think" I turn around to talk to her.

"Why?"

"Because he didn't tell me or even give me an idea of things that I would've liked to know" I explain in a way that hopefully avoids her ever having to know it all. That's exactly my problem, he didn't give me any idea apart from seeing him come back beaten every now and again.

"So we're leaving?" She frowns and my heart fractures again.

"No we're not, I just need some time. Plus I'm sorry Bella but I don't exactly have anywhere to go" she clambers out of her seat and onto my lap.

"I like Parker but I don't like you being sad. I know that we'll be okay wherever we are" I hold her tightly and feel the tears roll off into her hair.

"Parker is a good guy, this doesn't change that too much. It's just every time I look at him I see other things now" I whisper mainly to myself. Fuck that's so stupid and judgmental, I shouldn't do that to him.

But I can't help it, I care so much for him but right now I just need to figure myself and my feelings out. So we drive back and Bella silently goes to her room once Parker stands in the living room staring at me.

"Juliette" my name sounds like a plea from him but I can't do this right now.

"Please just listen" I say stronger than I thought it would come out "you are a good person but right now I just need to process"

"Fuck!" he curses and paces the room.

"Parker that doesn't mean anything, we're still here I just need space" my eyes follow him as he grips on his hair not looking at me.

"I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry" he stops and we finally stare each other down, the feelings buried deep in our hearts that I don't think I can let show anymore.

"You should've said something because I'm glad I know. I just don't know how to think right now" I hold his stare but neither of us soften as the unspoken words fly between us.

"Do I scare you now?" he tilts his head slightly and looks at me.

"What?" I question as he begins to walk towards me.

"Do I scare you now you know what I go out and do?" He asks again when he stands before me, my hips are pressed against the couch behind us and there a way too small distance between our bodies.

"No" I say and try not to sound too breathless.

"Are you sure? Because this is what you do when you're scared, you deflect and push everyone away" he just gazes down at me and neither of us do anything to close that gap.

"I'm not scared of you but I just need some time. I just can't think right now, Parker, you are one of the best things in my life right now but please understand it's a lot" I try to speak to him, my thoughts beginning to still.

"I get it, I'm sorry" he takes a step back and I despise the lack of warmth.

"So am I" I sigh and get off the couch "but I just need you to leave me alone for a while"

"Okay. Jeg faller fremdeles for deg" he whispers. This feels like goodbye, I really don't want it to be goodbye.

"Meaning"

"I'm still falling for you" the space between us continues to increase, and I can't help but feel as if it's more. I haven't lost faith in him I have to repeat to myself.