Our little secret

49

A drowsy feeling overtakes my unprepared body as I attempt to push myself up on my bed waking up, my head is pounding so hard I truly believe it could explode at any moment. Searching my hand on my bedside table I touch my phone, pulling it towards me I try to turn it on, quickly realizing that it's dead.

A groan leaves my lips as I reach for the charger, plugging the device in and flopping back onto my safe feeling blanket pile that was wrapped around a sleeping me minutes ago.

Throwing two small red pills i believe to be Advil into my mouth I look around, searching for a water bottle, with no luck at finding the bottle I dry swallow the two.

After sitting in the warm blankets for what felt like ages staring at the ceiling thinking about everything and nothing I shoot up, I talked to Ace last night?

I talked to him? On the phone? Who's fucking phone was I talking to him on?

He yelled at me?

How the hell do I remember this shit? The whole point of yesterday was to not remember.

Well, looks like I failed, just like i do for everything else.

I just don't understand he leaves witho- my thoughts come to a halt at the sound of my door unlocking.

"Angel why do you still hav-" oh. It's not angel.

"Sky" his voice is deep, rough, I watch as his jaw tenses walking towards me.

"What" I imagined what I would say when I saw him again, how I would yell at him for leaving, but seeing him here, just the same as a little over a week ago, I simply don't know what to do, my eyes gravitate towards my hands, cracking my knuckles my eyes blur, my brain fogs, and nervous knots fill my core.

"Why would you follow a random man into a room, how reckless could you be" Throwing his hands up from his sides they fall back onto the chair he's now leant against.

No more than 10 feet separate the two of us although the tension feels just as if we are right beside each other, suffocating in the company of the boy.

"You don't get to reprimand me for shit" I laugh, a tear slipping from my eye, my hands now twisting within each other, anxiety flowing through my unexpected body, I wasn't prepared for his arrival.

"Damnit sky you could've been hurt"

Looking up only slightly I catch his knuckles whitening, gripping the chair with no doubt anger I don't quite know why he feels.

"But I wasn't," a scoff leaves my lips in annoyance of his act, "You wouldn't care anyway, just leave" why is he acting like this right now, why did I have to fall for the boy that doesn't do relationships, the boy that doesn't do feelings.

"Fuck sky," running his hand through his hair he breathed in heavily, "I had to leave, you should understand that"

"But I don't" I snap, finally meeting his emerald eyes, "All I needed was a text, a letter for fucks sake, you gave one to Aiyana, is it to much effort to put into me?"

"I never meant for you to take it so hard" I watch his eyes roll, anger seeping through my veined at his actions.

"I'm sorry that I fucking care!" wiping a tear from my cheek quickly I stand up,walking towards the door, "I'm sorry that I was stupid enough to think maybe you did to" pulling the handle I feel a cold chill from the metal, staring directly at the boy he scoffs, opening his mouth I get to the words first, "Come back when you're done being self absorbed," clearing my throat I continue as he gets closer towards me and the door, "If it ever happens."

After a few seconds of unspoken eye contact he breaks it, standing directly in front of me now he looks down to me, his emerald eyes roaming between my lips and my blue eyes.

"Open you're eyes" is all he says before walking out, I watch as he disappears behind the door to his room, the room I could easily walk into, talk to him, feel his arms around me, but what self respect would I hold in myself if I ever let that happen.

I know it's insanely short and you have been waiting for ever, i've had a lot going on and needed to be there for people in my life before I could do anything else.
-Elle<3