{~SMILE~}Depressed Denki x Shinsou (ShinKami/KamiShin)

8: I-I think I love you

just me

Intrusive thoughts

thinking to the voice in his head

"talking"

texting

flashback

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I stand carefully, ignoring the pain in my legs as I start walking. I make it out of the fence and decide that I should just be strong. I start to run and let tears fall down my face. I reach the park and climb into a small tree scraping my arm a little bit. I sit in said tree for a few moments before a man with black hair passes by and notices me. "Denki?" Mr. Aizawa says.

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Mr. Aizawa Pov because my depression is too much to comprehend but I do too much denki

Mic and I get home and after a while, we hear Shinso sneak out. That's cool. Not super new, but cool. At least now he has friends. Mic and I decide just to have leftovers and a free for all dinner, so I heat up leftover pizza before laying on the floor. Aiko joins me and sits on my face before I hear the door open. By now it must be 2:30 or 3:00, so I can imagine what he sees. I'm laying on the floor in the hallway with my cat on my face. Eri is watching My Little Pony, and Mic is probably being dumb but adorable. Like eating cold macaroni.

He walks over me without a word and I hear him close his door. I hear quiet sobbing. After a while, his shower turns on before I decide to go for a walk. I walk for a little while before reaching a small park. I walk around until I walk by a tree and notice Denki sitting in the branches above. "Denki?" I question. Denki looks like he had prior been crying. He had a bruise forming on his cheek and blood staining his shirt. What happened to him? 

Denki sniffles, and decides to reply "Hi, Mr. Aizawa." His voice is so cheery even though he was clearly crying. Why? "Are you okay?" I ask, trying to sound like I'm not worried for my problem child. I may look apathetic because it's ✨ s m e x y , ✨ but the reality of it is I love all my problem children. Except for Ba- I'm joking. My problem children are still my children in the end. I hear him take a deep breath before responding, "Yeah, of course, I'm great, one hundo percent, why do you ask, also what are you doing out here?"He asks rushedly. A falsetto of joy rings clear. He's always so happy, what happened? "Come on down, kid. You are coming to my place for a while." I say. I say it as an offer, but we both know it's not. "I'm really sorry sir, but I can't," He says with joy getting more and more realistic. "Nonsense. Come on." After a few more moments of convincing, Denki hesitantly climbed down and we started the walk back home.

We make it to the house and he seems wary, this child is so odd. We walk inside and Eri is still watching my little pony. Now why she is awake I have no clue but still. Denki still seems wary, so I put my hand on his shoulder. Unexpectedly, he shocked me. "I-I'm sorry s-sir. I-it w-was and a-a-accident. I s-swear." Why is he so cautious? Why is he so scared? "Stay here for a sec," I say softly to the child. I leave his standing as I go up to Eri. "Hey honey, go to bed," I say quietly. She looks at me for a few seconds before silently nodding and going up to her room. I walk back to Denki as he is scratching his arm. As I near I can see a slight stream of blood running from where he was scratching. 

Denki Povvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv cause I'm In social studies

"Kaminari" I hear sensei gasp as he returns. I look at what he was so shocked at and realize my arm is bleeding. I guess I scratched it too hard. Sometimes I get anxious or scared or nervous and I scratch. Sometimes I scratch so much that the skin breaks. I lack enthusiasm so I guess this gonna be shitty. nah. i lack will. in general. He walks to me quickly and grabs a napkin handing it to me. "T-thanks," I say nervously, dabbing at the blood. I watch the white cloth absorb the blood and turn it red, and it calms me. I hear a loud noise and flinch to the slightest degree. Sensei must not have noticed it, because instead, he picks up his phone. Not even a minute goes by before he hangs up, without saying a word the entire time. He grabs my arm, and I silently pray he doesn't feel my scars or scabs. He guides me up a flight of stairs, and to a room at the end of the hall. "You can stay in here until I get back. I think Shinso is in the shower, but you can wait for him. Maybe he can lend you a shirt or something." He says, before quickly walking away.

I enter the room, which is painted moss grey. I press the napkin to my arm which has stopped bleeding. I walk to the decent-sized bed and sit on the floor, my back leaning on the frame. I grab a pair of wireless headphones out of my jacket pocket and put them in. I started to play my favourite depression playlist on Spotify. Its almost funny in an ironic way, the songs on said playlist. There's a song called 'Baby Don't Cut' got me laughing my ass off. I listen to my playlist and when it's done Shinso still isn't out the shower. I decide to listen to something different, and end up choosing the album 'Live from planet ok' by Ethan Jewel. I finish that, and it's only been about an hour. An hour is a lot for a man. An eerily long time. I take out my headphones and start thinking. About five minutes have passed and I've contemplated telling Shinso I like him or not. I know I'm attracted to him, but how far does it go? Do I love him? Do I know how to love? Does a monster like e deserve to be loved? Do I even deserve to love?

 I let my head fall into my hands as I think. After a moment, the shower stops and Shinso walks out with a towel around his waist. I can feel heat creep into my face as I take in his appearance. I close my eyes as I realize what I just did and mumble a quiet 'sorry,' stuttering a little bit. "Give me a few minutes to change," He says, grabbing clothes and retreating back into the bathroom. After a few comments, he comes back and I decide to fuck it and tell him. I won't be around long enough to have him hate me anyways. 

He comes back wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. "What's wrong?"  He asks. He's so thoughtful and it pains me. "E-e-everything" I manage to stutter out. I lift up my head and look at him for what might be the last time. Mom will protect the kids. If she finds out that I'm gone she can go back to being the good mom she was. "I think I like you- no, I think I love you," I say quietly. He walks toward me and I think it's to hit me. He hugs me. I shock him out of fear. "Wait,  you think?" He asks. He's gonna hit me now. I said the wrong thing, didn't I? "It's been so long, I don't remember what it's like to love," I say trying to be honest in my last hours. At 10 a.m. i will jump off the roof of U.A. 

"I can teach you," Shinso says gently.