𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖗 | ᴄᴏʀᴘꜱᴇ ʜᴜꜱʙᴀɴᴅ x ᴏᴄ | ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴏɴᴇ

The Stranger

After what was seeming to be one of the longest days in the last few months, Jack had finally managed to convince himself to show up to work. The current trajectory he was on was already in a headfast spiral downward, with no hopes of turning the tide. His anxiety had been at an all-time high, while his mind waded through the constant pool of liquor he'd supplied it. He knew that being "famous" had its downsides but had never considered the added effects with his anxiety and fragile mental state. For every encouraging fan he had, there was an equally resounding hateful cynic. Thousands of death threats and a few attempted break-ins at his old apartment had already sent his paranoia through the roof, but getting jumped a few weeks ago in a part of town he wasn't familiar with- on top of all the resulting legal bullshit- was proving to be his breaking point. The anxiety, paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations; as well as the laundry list of chronic ailments- he couldn't take it anymore. It made him rethink all of his decisions in life- and just when exactly it had gone so wrong? Could it even be fixed at this point? What was the point when he wasn't ok?

The last few nights had either been spent lying paralyzed by the panic and hyperventilation in bed- or- completely inebriated on the tile of the bathroom floor. The vulgar and violent path his thoughts took late at night were physically sickening, but the ease at which plans seemed to pop into his head- followed by his lack of contestment to them- was what fucked him up the most. The longer the day dragged on- the worse the pain got, and the louder the corrupt voice in his head seemed. By the time he was ready for work- staring back at himself in the mirror- it seemed the voice had already won.

He took a deep breath as his face relaxed. He began to feel a wave of conclusive calmness overcoming him. Life was like an ocean, and he was tired of drowning in it. The time spent fighting the crashing waters felt so futile. He felt the warm nostalgic ease with which he allowed himself to slip into the feeling; as his head bobbed below the frigid waters, he began his descent.

---

He swirled his glass of gin and took a sip before pulling out his phone- ever flooding with ignored notifications. Some worried texts from friends, DMs or comments from fans on socials, and even some messages from the family he barely spoke to anymore. He cleared out the notification bar and clicked on Snapchat- preparing himself to post a video as he double-checked for any reflections or mirrors that might be visible, giving away his anonymity. He coughed to clear his hoarse voice and started the video.

"A lot of people ask me, you know, um... Corpse- uh what's your perspective on life? Are you a cup half empty- or half full kind of person? And honestly- I took some time to really think about this one... and gather an answer that can hopefully answer all of you guys efficiently..." He grinned to himself as he paused before bluntly sending the glass he held, violently into the hardwood below, stopping the video abruptly after.

He watched it play back- chuckling at the dark joke as the calm washed over him once again. It felt like a fitting announcement- for him at least- with his new plan beginning to set into place now. Why keep trying? Why keep treading water when the waves so obviously wanted him to sink?

He had no energy to keep afloat anymore. He was firm in his decision; if things didn't turn up for him this week, if the waves didn't settle- if the universe continued to push back- he would end up sinking- on his own terms.

He sighed heavily- like a monstrous weight was beginning to lift from his chest as he prepared to head to work. He'd changed into the uniform, a black, long-sleeved button-down with his black skinny jeans. He ruffled his dark, curly locks and drew on a line of brown eyeliner before smudging it out with his fingers and checking it in the mirror. It made his brown eyes look even darker than they already were from the deep purple circles beneath them, something he'd long grown used to. He decided that was good enough, despite his distaste for the man that stood before him in the mirror, and headed out.