𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖗 | ᴄᴏʀᴘꜱᴇ ʜᴜꜱʙᴀɴᴅ x ᴏᴄ | ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴏɴᴇ

The Realization

"How have you been since we last spoke?" Theresa smiled kindly on a Thursday afternoon. It was always a tough question for Violet to answer, no matter how long she'd been in therapy. Some days or weeks would be going amazingly (for once) but then some days could feel like she'd taken nineteen steps back in terms of her healing and ways of communication. But despite all the ups and downs and fluctuation with her emotions, talking them through with her therapist always helped form some type of clarity, whether long-term or if just to get her through the week. However, lately, their conversations had been formed on the topic of how to function with her dynamic with Jack, relationships in general were always a tricky topic for Violet-there was only so much she could control before allowing room to make their decisions about her. But there were also other stressors in her life that needed managing; work and school couldn't take a backburner to her relationships...they just had a way of seeping into that part of her life.

"It's been...weird this week." She finally answered. "My company's been talking about downsizing, which is really scary and has been creating a lot of noise in my head. Um, but I'm trying not to focus on what I can't control-just doing my work and focusing on other stuff...like school and all that."

"I'm sorry to hear that, I know job security has always been a huge stressor for you."

"Yeah..." Violet took a deep breath. "And there's no guarantee I'll have a job lined up after school, but I'm just trying to stay positive until I know for sure what's going on." Trying, being the keyword. Ever since her coworkers had brought up the possibility, she'd lost out on sleep thinking of all the possibilities that would happen. Thinking about all the job applications had her nervous, and even though she had a bit in her savings, she wasn't sure how long she could live out here without a steady income.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I'm sure that's stressful to have something so important just up in the air like that. What is that bringing up for you- how have you been coping?"

"I mean, like I said, just doing my work and making sure it's thorough and helping out where I can. Um, but it does bring up a lot of like, financial insecurity. I want to be able to rely on myself for that kind of stuff, so it-it keeps bringing my brain back to like, having to go back to Washington." And as much as she loved the cabin and all the peace the area offered, she was really settling into the city...and she really didn't want to leave Jack.

"It can be good to keep yourself focused, I also think it's important to check in on how your mood is doing as well. Have you mentioned it to your roommate at all?"

"...not yet." She sighed, unable to maintain eye contact. "It's still all up in the air, and it's not really his problem unless I need to like, move out."

"I agree, but he might know somewhere that you could work in the meantime too if things ended up not working out, I'm sure he would understand."

"Yeah..." She nodded in acknowledgement, knowing she was right. "He just has his own issues and I don't wanna burden him with all my shit." He'd dealt with enough of her wishy washy bullshit that she didn't need him solving her life problems for her.

"You handling the hardships of life is not a burden, Violet."

"No, I know, it's just not his problem. Like, if it came to it, I'm sure he'd get me a job at his bar, but-I guess, I-I don't wanna rely on him for that. I feel like I should be able to figure this out on my own. He's already helped me out so much that I just- don't feel comfortable asking for more."

"You've mentioned that before," Theresa referred to some of their previous sessions, not just with Violet's hyper independence, but her hesitance in asking for what she deemed as 'a lot'. "And I know we've talked about how it stems from not having your needs met when you were younger...but we've also talked about how not everyone is going to be like that, I can understand not wanting to ask for too much- and not wanting to take advantage of your roommate's help, but from what I've heard, he doesn't seem like one to judge on extenuating circumstances."