𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖗 | ᴄᴏʀᴘꜱᴇ ʜᴜꜱʙᴀɴᴅ x ᴏᴄ | ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴏɴᴇ

The Turbulent Waters

"So, how's this week been going?" Molly's inquisitive voice queried, knowing how quickly Jack's emotions and perspective could shift.

"Things have been good I think..." He paused, still not wanting to let himself be too optimistic.

"That's good!" Molly encouraged with a smile. "So, I just wanted to remind you that this will be my last session with you for a while since I'm going on maternity leave." She smiled softly to herself as her hand instinctively went to the large baby bump barely in frame on the screen. Jack nodded and tried to conceal his anxiety. He was happy for her, but couldn't help the nervous thoughts from clouding over as he considered what not having a therapist for a while would be like.

He'd gotten used to having their sessions every week or so and it had helped him more than he'd ever admit aloud. Molly had offered to set him up with a temporary therapist while she was away but he'd declined. The time it would take to catch a new therapist up on everything that he'd frequently talk about seemed pointless- and thoughts of letting another stranger know such intimate details of his life still made him a bit panicked, despite the confidentiality policy.

"Congrats again." He smiled with a soft laugh.

"Thank you." She beamed back. "Are you sure you don't want a temporary replacement while I'm away?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Things have been- a lot better recently so, I think I'll be okay for a few months."

"Alright. Well, is there anything specific you want to spend today on? How has everything been going?"

"I don't know, things with Violet are feeling better, I guess."

"Better how?"

"I mean, everything we did always seemed to get caught up in this realm of plausible deniability- no matter how clear it felt in the moment. But I don't know if it's still going to be like that now or if it will be better. I guess it just feels like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Plausible deniability?" Her face scrunched with slight confusion. "What do you mean by that? And does it not feel that way anymore?"

"I mean- it felt like we were flirting, pretty heavily and obviously at times, and we hooked up the one time... but then she wanted to just be friends, yet continued to act flirty still. But as obvious as it seemed in the present, as soon as it's over it's like she would switch back to acting like we were just friends. It always left me wondering if it was even really flirting at all..." he paused, "so... I asked her out on a real date and... it went great, at least I feel like it did."

"A real date?" Molly seemed pleasantly surprised. "What does a real date mean?"

"Like, I tried to make it clear how I felt- that I wanted more." He scoffed lightly to himself. "I... I can be okay with it if she really just wants to be friends, but when she tiptoes over that line... it makes everything confusing because I have very real feelings for her..." He fiddled with his rings beneath the desk as he avoided his therapist's gaze through the screen. "I know I have myself to blame for the majority of it because I make a lot of jokes and keep my feelings very superficial and lighthearted most of the time. I don't want to make her uncomfortable, but also I'm scared." He chuckled halfheartedly.

"What are you afraid of?"

"I don't know. I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid of getting my hopes up? I'm afraid that I'm crossing her boundaries of just being friends... despite her not acting that way, I'm afraid that if things did evolve into something more- that it could fall apart and I could lose her not only as a partner but a friend too, and I'm afraid of the flat out rejection too I guess, as childish as that seems. But- I think I'm most afraid that I'll hurt her." He sighed.