His Fiance

19.Drunk

YIBO POV

I went to all the places he usually visits. But he was not there. Should I tell sehun about this. I think I should first search this two  remaining places maybe he will be there. So I went to a bar where he usually visits. I was searching for him. I went to the bartender and show him the xiao zhan pic and ask him if he saw xiao zhan he pointed me to the table and there he was. His head was down so that's why I didn't realize that it's xiao zhan. I saw a guy was talking to him.

Hey..... Do you want help?  a Stranger was asking to xiao zhan. But he didn't respond. So he grabbed his hand and said  come on. I can help you.. He said xiao zhan was struggling. I went towards them and slapped the hand of the guy and said, he is with me, so leave.....
No I am not with him... Xiao zhan said

Why are you lying?stranger ask me
I am not lying. Xiao zhan it's me yibo, look at me. I said

I don't know any yibo xiao zhan said. The stranger grabbed my collar.what are you planning to do with him. He was about to punch me but then xiao zhan said.....
Don't...he is with me... That guy leave from there.

I hold xiao zhan arm and said
Let's go.
I don't want to. Leave me alone. He said
Don't be childish?  This place is not safe. Let's go I said.
It's none of your business. He said.
Now I grabbed his both arm and pulled them so that he will stand up from his table. He stood up but started hitting my chest by his hands.
Go away.... I don't want to see you.......... Leave me alone..... He said while hiting me.
I picked him up, he was struggling but I didn't stop and went towards the bike and  make him wear the helmet and we both sit on the bike.
Hold me tight i said
I don't need to he said

Whatever, don't blame me later.
I start my bike at high speed so he circled his arms around my waist. He was resting his chin on my shoulder.i can feel his breath on my neck.we arrived at the dorm. I grabbed his hand and was trying to get him inside the dorm gate. But he was pulling me at other side.
What the heck?  Don't test my patience xiao zhan. I said
I am not testing your patience. Just leave me alone.he said
Looks like I have to try another way. So I carry him in bridal style. He was struggling but I didn't buldge.when I was walking through the stairs he stop struggling.  He circled his hands around my neck.Even though he was drunk, he still care about me that's why he might have stop struggling coz I was going through stairs.
Good boy I said. I put him on his bed but he didn't let me go. He pulled me for hug.

Then I broke the hug and I saw tears on his face.
I  wiped his tears.
Stop crying. Don't cry. Why are you crying I said.
Why do you care? He said
I do. He said.
I am crying because you don't like me. I am crying because you hate me... I am crying because..... I put my hands on his mouth to shut him...
He removed my hands from his mouth. You hate me right?  He said and started kissing me.

"Yes I hate you " I said like the words coming out like caress. I say it again over and over and over. A Litany.
An enchantment. A ward against what I feel. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. "
He kisses me harder.
"I hate you" I breath into his mouth. I hate you so much that sometimes I can't think of anything else. I hate..
He broke kiss and ask why hate me?
I hate you because I often think of you it's disgusting and I can't stop. Do you hear me.

He cups my face, and said I hear you. You can't stop right?  Then don't stop. What's the problem?. He started kissing me again. Don't....... I was resisting and trying to remove his lips from mine but he was holding my face again and again, kissing me like his life depends on it.I resist it for a while but I also started kissing him.

I know it's wrong. I shouldn't do this. But when he kisses me I can't seem to control myself.  I truly love him. I want to kiss him. But then he stop kissing me and stared at me. He wanted to say something but in a flash I put my lips on his. I tightened my hands around his waist. At first the kiss was soft and delicate, but then we move faster, tongue twisting, hands roaming.

He whispers in my ears.. " I love you "
I know I said. He was looking in my eye's, looking for an answer he wants to hear. Looking for the reason why I kissed him. Maybe it's selfish to want more. But I can't help it. Should I tell him that I like him. But what about his engagement?  What about sehun?. I stop fighting with the thoughts. He fists my shirts in his hands and begin to sob against my chest. I stroke his head and hold his chin so he could see me. " I love you so much" With a voice which is  breathless and  full of fear. I love you even when I shouldn't. We cling to one another as we experience sadness so excruciating, it makes it hard to want to live beyond it. I tell him I love him because I need him to know.

I tell him I love him again. I kept saying it, more time's than I have ever said it out loud. I kept in saying it over and over until we both fall asleep. We are hugging each other.

Next morning I woke up and saw xiao zhan was sleeping.He looks beautiful even when he's sleeping. I stroke his hairs. But realization hit me. What have I done last night?  How can I say" I love you" to him?  I should stop this, it's not right..

His hands were on my stomach so I remove his hands from my body and went to shower and change my clothes. How can I explain him?  I will just tell him that I don't like him. I was lying last night because he was drunk. Yeah I will tell him this. Well he will not buy this lie.

But this is what I came up with. I saw him he was cursing and saying what the hell my head hurts....... I give him  water.

I stared at him he handed me the glass after drinking it. But I was still there waiting for his questions.
He stared at me and ask what?
Ahh ?I said
Why are you staring at me he ask.
Nothing. Do you have anything to say to me?. I ask
Don't tell me you're expecting thank you from me. I didn't ask you for water. You give it to me by yourself so I accept it.  He said.
I mean apart from that. He said
No he said.
I mean last night you
He cutted me saying last night what?
See if I hit you last night then you deserve it. I don't regret it if I did hit you.
He said.
You don't remember?  I ask
What'?  He ask
Nothing I said and then I went to college.
How dare he forget. He kissed me. I confess to him. How can he forget?dumbass