How to find your soulmate

Chapter 8

Author's note: so this chapter is a little late but once again I met my deadline. Yay me. I am so glad to see people are still reading this story of mine. Thank you so much. Please stick around till the end. Don't forget to vote : )

Chapter 8

He is going to say no, I thought. I can tell from his white face that Kongpob was not only surprised by what I suggested but he was also affronted. I waited for the refusal with my breath held. Maybe he would make it polite, maybe he won't say it directly, but I knew he would refuse.

Then why did I ask him? Kongpob is likely at the end of his rope in tolerating this, but I still want to push him further. Why to drive him away? I am not sure but... I don't think that is the only reason.

Kongpob lowered his face from my eyes and it became shadowed so I couldn't easily read his expression. "If I say okay," he said with a low voice and my heart jumped and dropped really fast.

No, wait. He is going to agree. My eyes are wide and staring at him as Kongpob continued. "What are you going to do?"

Do? Obviously, there's only one thing to do if we stay in this place. What is he asking me? I closed off my emotions and shut down my excitement. What am I even getting excited for? This wasn't a game, I have to be careful when doing this, or I might lose myself.

Kongpob didn't wait for my answer and started to push open the door. "You are getting out?" I wanted to sound cold and apathetic but I think my uncertainty may have leaped out of my voice.

"Yes, " Kongpob stood before me. "I feel like I need to look directly at you for this.

"You don't have to be so serious, Kongpob. I was only teasing, this is only the first date after all." I tapped him on the shoulder and leaned on the car. "I know it's going to take you some time after all."

"Sometime to do what, P'Arthit."

"Huh?"

"If you mean to live like you and sleep with just about anyone that walks then I am sorry to disappoint you, P'Arthit, I will never live like that. Not even for you."

"What?"

Kongpob grabbed his hair and groaned in frustration. "I really don't know what I am doing here, P'Arthit, and I don't know how to respond when you hit me with something like this. I am shocked, disappointed, and even a little disgusted."

"Wait," I reached for him but he turned to me in an instant and was glaring but I could see the pain hidden behind those black eyes.

"Are you making fun of my feelings for you? Do you have any idea what this all means to me? When I say I love you do you not understand it? I guess you don't, otherwise, you wouldn't have asked me that. P'Arthit, I don't want to touch or look at anyone else. I don't want to be touched or looked at by anyone else. I just want you. And if it is possible, I really want you to want only me too. "

He has misunderstood something and he isn't giving me any chance to correct that misunderstanding. Kongpob went on looking crucified as he continued.

"I know that I said I was okay with you dating other people with me. I know I endured all the flirting and the touching that I had to look at all night..." his voice tightened on those words, "but I will never be okay with seeing you touched by anyone. I will never get used to sharing you with other people and if—if that's going to make you hate me again then...then I just..."

He looked like he was actually going to cry. "Kongpob, stop."

I took his hand in a firm grip and pulled him close to me so he could meet my eyes. For all his sincere and serious speech he never tried to hold my gaze. He is so wishy-washy like this but... how come I am still captivated by him. Even when he is supposed to be firm and reject me as hard as he can, he is flustered and helpless and I just want to kiss him so badly. This Kongpob who is so open and vulnerable makes my heart shake and all the walls I have carefully placed against him crumble. I shouldn't let it, he hurt me before, and he could betray me again but I really can't help it with this bastard.