How to find your soulmate

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

He won't go away. I want to yell at him and tell him to get lost. I want to shut him up in the house and never let him out. I want him to be well and I want him to be healed. I am filled with such want that it feels like it was digging a void into my heart.

"P'Arthit keeping silent isn't going to help us deal with this."

I sighed at him and raised the hand I had used to keep him out of my vision. If I could shut off the part of me that loved him so much just like this maybe this whole thing would be bearable.

We stared at each other, he crouched by the couch and was relieved that I finally looked at him, me half lying on the couch and taking in yet again the improvement the week apart brought him.

"P'Arthit?"

"I am thirsty," I said, "move."

"I will get it for you," he jumped to his feet, all lively and healthy. It's almost hard to believe that he had been dying and would die if I touched him. I laughed and covered my eyes again. The man I wanted to touch so much would die if I touched him. If it didn't suck so much it would be funny.

He returned with the water and knelt between my thighs. "Drink, P'Arthit."

I held back a groan at the sight of him and took the water. Looking away from him, I drank the water half empty and lowered the cup to see him smiling. "What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing. I am just happy doing something so simple for you."

"Kongpob," I warned and sighed. "We are doing it. There's no other solution. You are marrying Paula and I am going to marry Nue. With that, everything would end."

"I am not doing that, P'Arthit."

"Don't be difficult."

"How can I marry someone I don't love? Soulmate or not you are the one I love. The monk said that we didn't really have soulmates and now I know what he meant."

I pressed my lips together and tried not to show how pleased that made me. He wouldn't let up until I break if he knew I was happy to hear that, happy he was here in front of me even if I couldn't touch him. Act cold, I told myself. Act like you don't care and make him believe it.

I brushed his hand from my leg and rose to my feet. "If you don't want to do it I will. I already told Nue that we are getting married in two weeks. We have a lot of planning to do so I will be off to go see her."

I took two steps and stopped because he grabbed me and hugged me from the back. "No P'Arthit, don't do this. It will only make things worse."

"Kongpob!" I struggled to get him off me. Freeing myself, I turned to check if he was in pain. He just looked hurt and upset but there was no sign of pain. "Are you alright?"

"I am fine. It doesn't hurt all the time I touch you, you know. It has to be intimate."

I thought about it and it was plenty intimate to me. "Don't do that again."

He sighed at me. "Are you really going to be this way? I know you are worried about me but I am fine. Even if you are willing to do this, I don't see Nue agreeing to it."

"It's not a big deal, we are already engaged."
"But that was because..." he trailed off thoughtfully. "Why did you get engaged to Nue anyway? It's not because you have feelings for her is it?"

I rolled my eyes at him. Is he seriously getting jealous right now? While having a soulmate he swore an eternal bond to? "It was an arranged wedding," I said. "Feelings were not involved."