the broken

Chapter 17

MARCH, 2009

Phil

I blink my eyes open, wincing at the already pounding headache that spreads through my skull. I stare at the ceiling, focusing on not throwing up. The afternoon light from the window by my bed shines through the backs of my eyes and melts my brain. I can't particularly remember getting here, or much of anything really after the first hour into the party. After the worst of the waves of nausea pass, I stumble out of my room and to the bathroom, shaking pills into my mouth and sticking my face under the faucet, swallowing, too hungover to care when the water dribbled down the front of my shirt. Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I wander downstairs to find Jamie asleep on the couch, sprawled on his stomach, looking dead. On the table, a note:

Phil-
In case you were for some reason wondering, I went to school. I hope you slept well and that you feel better this morning. I'm sorry I couldn't get Jamie to your bed, and I hope your hangover isn't too bad and you get to feeling better soon.
-Dan.

God, I'm an idiot. I can't believe I let Dan see me in such a pathetic state, had gotten so absolutely plastered that he'd had to drag me and Jamie inside. Despite being drunk himself, he'd still managed to get us home and in bed. Here I am, trying to take care of Dan, and instead he's taking care of me. I sigh, look up at the clock. I had slept the day away, and he'd probably be home soon, with the afternoon sunlight and those big brown eyes. My headache makes me impatient, and I pace around, waiting at the door like a pathetic puppy. The door finally creaks open, and I smile my biggest smile as he leans against the door frame, eyes wide and surprised to see me.

"Dan!"

"Hi, Phil?"

He tilts his head, searching my face for answers, and I follow the curves of his face with my eyes.

"Hey! I missed you!"

He smiles a tiny smile, looking confused, and he looks so goddamn pretty with his curls all messy and the late afternoon light turning his eyes to melted chocolate and the freckles on his noseI want to push him up against a wallI want to pull him into my arms and keep him there forever. My cheeks are on fire and my heart is racing and so is my mind but he doesn't notice thank god.

"How are you feeling?"

My cheeks are still hot and my heart still races under my skin but I wipe my expression and manage to string a sentence together.

"A little worse for the wear, but I'm okay. I'm sorry for last night, I don't really know what happened."

"S'okay, I didn't mind."

"Are you sure?"

He laughs softly.

"I'm sure."

"Okay."

Dan seems to take this as a dismissal, and he starts to turn to walk away.

My hand shoots out and grabs his wrist.

"Wait!"

He pauses.

"Will you come on a walk with me?"

"A walk?"

"Yeah, its pretty outside and I want to enjoy it with you."

His cheeks are pink and god he's so pretty.

"Um, okay?"

My face lights up with the biggest smile in the whole world.

I link my arm through his as we head out the door, and he tilts his head up at me, looking confused.