the broken

Chapter 26

MAY, 2009

Phil

I blink sleepily, sitting up as I realize that the bed was strangely cold, and that there was a Dan sized space that was now unoccupied. I frown and rub my eyes.

"Dan?"

He didn't have anything going on today, so he has no reason to be anywhere. Logically, I know that he's a free human being with every right to do whatever he wants, but in a place like this, with a head like his, I am worried. Just a little. I can't stop thinking about the last time I had lost him, can't stop thinking about what happened when I'd found him.

"Dan?"

I stumble off the bed and peek out into the hallway. It is empty except for a single nurse, humming quietly to herself and pushing a cart.

"Um, excuse me ma'am, have you seen a boy go through here recently? He's got, like, brown hair and eyes and he's wearing, um, something black, I think," I say, trying to remember what he was wearing before we fell asleep. I couldn't picture it and it made my heart clench made my stomach twist even more

She looks at me sympathetically, reading the growing panic on my face, and shakes her head.

"I've just started my shift, sorry."

My mouth twists into a frown and I shuffle past her, twisting my hands anxiously.

"I hope you find him, dear," she calls out behind me, and I wave my hand vaguely without turning around as a sort of thanks. I hurry down the hall, looking in both directions rapidly. God, this is such a large building.

I start peering in the room windows desperately, running from door to door. A tired old man, watching television. A teenage girl with her arm in a cast. Get well balloons and stupid glittery cards and hospital gowns but no Dan, not anywhere.

I have almost reached a state of catatonic panic when I finally catch sight of brown curls, messy brown curls, my messy brown curls. I almost ran past the door, stopping and backtracking as my brain finally processed what I'd seen.

"Dan!"

I am through the door and next to him in seconds, jumping into him like I haven't seen him in years and I bury my face in his hair and let my racing heart calm down because he's here, he's alright.

"Phil? What are you doing here?"

"I woke up and you weren't there, where have you been?"

Dan pushes me away, looking miffed, his arms folded tightly across his chest.

"What do you mean? Am I not allowed to walk around anymore?"

"Well, I just, got worried, I thought something happened to you or... something."

His annoyance melted into a look of hurt.

"What do you mean, do you really not trust me?"

"W..what, no, I do.." I stammer, but he cuts me off.

"I'm fine Phil, I just went for a walk," he says tiredly, folding his arms uncomfortably. 

"I'm so sorry," I apologize, flustered, but Dan just closes his eyes and turns away.

In the electric silence between us I become aware of where we are. TV screens flicker above worn down couches, leaned up against tables filled with torn magazines. Dan leans against the wall, paper water cup in his hand, storm brewing behind his eyes, and the sickening fluorescent lights make me feel nauseous.