Can I Love You ? (Kazuscara)

Chapter XII

Scaramouche couldn't manage to breathe properly. He was only repeating one word again and again :

"- Why, why, why, why ?"

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Kazuha frowned in his sleep. He was having a dream about Scaramouche, that was so real he was almost sure the young man was just here with him.

But he was now feeling a weight on his body, and hearing a desperate voice whispering.

He fluttered his eyes open and widened them. Was he still dreaming ?

"- Scaramouche ?"

The young man in front of him stopped whining immediately, an horrified look on his face.

Kazuha frowned. This didn't really look like a dream. Then he realized something else. He was feeling something cold on his throat.

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Scaramouche realized that he was still holding the knife on Kazuha's throat. His hand was shaking, but he couldn't bring himself to let go of it.

But the younger man suddenly spoke calmly :

"- Scaramouche, I don't know who asked you to do this, but I know you would never do something like that. Please, let go of this knife."

Scaramouche snickered quietly. If he knew what his job was !

But he quickly came back to reality. Kazuha was now holding his wrist, searching for his eyes, begging him silently.

"- Believe me Scara, this won't help in any way."

"- Scara..."

Nobody had ever called him that, but he didn't mind the nickname. It was like something that only belonged to Kazuha and him.

"God, I could never kill him... What was I thinking...?

The young man couldn't help but let tears come out of his eyes. He let go of the knife and fell down on Kazuha, crying his heart out.

"- I'm sorry !" he was repeating. "I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry..."

Kazuha, surprised, just held him in his arms sitting up, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. He didn't really know what did Scaramouche get into, but what he knew was that the person he probably cared the most about needed his support.

Scaramouche eventually calmed down, but stayed in Kazuha's arms. It was the only place where he could feel safe.

"- Now tell me," said Kazuha in a hushed voice, " what can I do to help you ? You need to explain it to me please, I don't want to leave you alone in this..."

Scaramouche buried his face deeper into Kazuha's chest. He was facing a dilemma. He wanted to talk to Kazuha, because he deeply needed to talk with someone about his chaotic life, but at the same time he felt like the more Kazuha would know, the more in danger he would be. Scaramouche had witnessed some of his father's crimes and he knew that he didn't have any limits when it came to punishment, especially to traitors. He wouldn't mind being punished if that meant Kazuha was safe, but sadly, he was pretty sure his father could find Kazuha a little too easily.

Scaramouche got his arms around Kazuha's torso and kept his face buried in his chest as he decided to speak. He couldn't bring himself to look at him in the eyes. Kazuha, a little surprised, held him tighter anyway, deciding to not let him go by any means. 

"- Scara...

- Kazuha... I can't really tell you much about it because it would be bad for you... But I can tell you one thing : you're in grave danger and... it's my fault..."

Scaramouche felt like crying again. For once he had found someone he deeply cared about only to end up messing up their life... He should never have decided to make contact with him in the first place...

Kazuha could feel Scaramouche begin to shiver again in his arms, so he held him even stronger, stroking his back and ruffling his hair, in an attempt to calm him down.

"- Scara... Even if what you are saying is true, I am not mad at you in any way...And I don't really care about danger. So please, look at me and tell me about it."

Kazuha caught Scaramouche's face with his hand and held it up so that the young man had to look at him. His sparkling and beautiful dark blue eyes made Kazuha lose track of his thoughts for a moment, captivated by them.

"- Kazuha... How can you trust me like that...? I've been so awful with you...

- I really don't know... I guess I just care too much about you", chuckled Kazuha.

Scaramouche took a big breath in.

"- I need some time to think... I really don't want something happening to you because of me... I'm sorry for asking you that, but could you accept coming with me somewhere safe, while I think about what to do ?

- Scara..."

Kazuha was in deep thoughts. If Scaramouche looked that panicked, the problem was probably really serious. So he decided to listen to him.

"-...Alright, I accept, but could you let me sleep just a little more ?

- O-oh sure, I'll leave and-"

Scaramouche tried to get out of Kazuha's arms and leave but the other boy strengthened his grip around his waist.

"- You can stay.

- Huh ?

- I don't know what did you do the last days, but you look absolutely exhausted. So please, just stay for a few hours with me, and sleep, if you still remember what does it mean..."

Even if the circumstances weren't really appropriate, Scaramouche felt his cheeks heat up a little.

"-...Okay.

- Nice !"

And Kazuha fell down on the bed, dragging Scaramouche with him, and fell asleep almost immediately, leaving the older young man a little lost, and feeling a little too hot too.

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Hey ! Sorry for the quite late chapter and for leaving you on a cliffhanger for so long, I hope you still enjoyed the new chapter ! I'll try to post the next one in not too much time ! See you soon and take care <3

Also, I wrote a kind of bonus chapter that just came to my mind kinda like magic, but it doesn't really fit the atmosphere of the story right now, so I won't post it yet, but I might post it when the story is finished  ! (though it's nothing amazing, just something I got the inspiration for ^^')

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Published : October 2nd 2022

Words : 965