𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇 (Ash Trilogy #2) ✔️

8

~ Saint POV ~

How cruel is it of me to attend the funeral of a woman I killed? 

I sit next to Aurora. She wears a small black dress and her dark hair is straightened. She looks absolutely beautiful. How am I supposed to pay my respects when she's sitting beside me, taking my breath away?

Without turning her head to look at me, slowly, she reaches for my hand. I gladly accept it in mine, holding it like it meant the world to me.

I can't have her find out about Ben's death. I don't want her to suspect me. I don't think that she would ever truly love me if she knew all of the horrible stuff I've done. 

I drove back out to New Jersey last night after she fell asleep. Tossed his barbequed body into a hole nobody will ever find.

My thumb brushes up and down her soft hand, comfortingly. 

I see the sadness behind her blue eyes, as she listens to Mallory's mother speak. 

When you get hurt, it's hard to imagine ever feeling okay again. Like when you break your leg. You look down at your shitty version of a leg that doesn't work properly, and can't imagine ever being able to use it properly again. To run again. To trust it again.

And that's why it's so important to me, to not hurt her. Mentally, of course. I'd never physically hurt her. But if she finds out what I've done, and I cause her that pain, she'll never be able to go back to being okay with me again. To trust me, again.

Which is why she needs to come back to France with me. I'll let all of the killings out of my system while here, and then at the end of summer, we'll go back to France. It could be just her and I, forever. I'd never need anybody else, besides her.

When clapping ensues I have to snap out of my thoughts and begin to clap, also. A tear-eyed mother walks away from the stand. 

Everybody begins to stand. Thank God. I don't like funerals, they're boring. 

Aurora takes a deep breath and turns her body toward mine, "I just want to go and give my condolences to her mother."

Ugh. I wanted to leave now.

"Of course," I say softly. I may lack empathy and compassion but I understand that you have those strongly, Aurora.

She gives me a smile and we walk through the crowd, dressed in black. Mallory's mother stands, talking to somebody, who gives her a hug. 

"Hi, Mrs. Chadda?" Aurora speaks up softly, as Mallory's mother pulls away from the hug. "I'm Aurora, I worked with Mallory."

The other person walks off, and I wish it were me. 

"Oh, hello, thank you for coming," her mother smiles. She turns her eyes to look at me and I force a smile. 

"I'm Saint. I'm so sorry for your loss," my voice is laced with fake sadness. 

She takes a deep breath, trying to keep herself collected. She holds her hand over her heart.

"Thank you two for coming. I'm sure Mallory would've appreciated it," she forces a smile through saddened eyes.

Yea. I'm not too sure about that.

"Of course," Aurora replies gently.

"Make sure you two keep each other close. I've learned now how quickly you can have somebody taken from you. A relationship is one of the strongest things on earth. Make sure you two keep each other close," her mother says passionately.