𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇 (Ash Trilogy #2) ✔️

34

~ Saint POV ~

For the first time in my entire life, I already felt dead.

It was as if I could feel my heart stop beating. Feel my lungs stop accepting air. Feel myself leave earth at that very moment.

Aurora hits the ground. It's like I watch it happen in slow motion. Her brown hair falls everywhere. The same brown hair I had run my hands through. Her eyes shut. The same eyes I looked into when I felt myself become alive for the first time. 

My stomach is wrenching. I feel my heart break apart in my chest. It shatters and hits every nerve in my body.

"No!" I scream. I fucking scream. My throat hurts so goddamn much from how much I've screamed. 

My face and skin turn red as I choke out sobs. I try and fight to get out of the chains but it's no use. I sob. I break. I fall apart and am in the worse pain possible. I don't feel the cuts on my chest. I don't feel the stab wound on my hand. All I feel is my heart breaking in my chest as I stare at a paled Aurora.

My eyes shut and I scream. The scream shows all my emotions and my cheeks are hot from tears.

He took her.

He took her from me.

I'm supposed to protect her. I'm supposed to keep her safe. 

Now she's gone.

Levi steps in front of me. I open my eyes and look up at him. My chest rises and falls quickly. I can't bring myself to stop the tears from falling out of my eyes.

"Kill me - fucking kill me!" my voice is laced with pain as I beg. 

I can't live knowing she's dead. Knowing she cried out for me to help her - and I couldn't.

Levi just smiles at me. Lines form beside his eyes and he lets out an entrained laugh.

I've always said that I can handle any pain. But I was wrong. Not this. I couldn't handle Aurora being dead, I couldn't handle living in a world without her. 

"Kill me!" I shout again. My voice nearly breaks.

He holds the bloodied knife. The same knife he used to kill Aurora.

Her blood still remains on it. And for a split second, I stop crying at a thought. 

If he stabs me with it, at least her blood will be mixed with mine as I die. At least I will still have a part of her with me. The thought comforts me enough to make me stop crying but my breathing is still rapid, like I'm struggling to breathe. 

He moves the blade up slowly. Mentally I begin pleading for him to stab it through my neck but he doesn't give me what I want. 

"Say, Saint...." he runs the blade along my cheek. "How does it feel? How does it feel to experience the same pain you inflicted onto others?"

I don't fucking believe in karma but while I kneel here, gasping for air after witnessing the one thing I could never survive, I begin questioning if maybe I do.

I killed hundreds of people. I killed daughters. Mothers. Fathers. Brothers. Sisters. Boyfriends. Girlfriends.

After all, no matter how much growth I've had, I never truly deserved Aurora. Hell, I only fucking met her because I was following her down an alleyway to kill her. 

She never would've come back to France with me.

A tear rolls down my cheek. It's just one tear, one drop of water, but it's more than that.