Damaged Goods (Edward Cullen)

Edward

Edward walks me to my locker. "I had a lot of fun with you in biology" he says.

"Yeah me too" I say. "What are you doing tonight?" He asks me.

"I'm going to walk to the grocery store then walk home. Then you're sister is coming over." I say.

"Would you like me to drive you to the store then back home. It's quite a long walk." He asks me.

Well it's 3:30 I have an hour to do all that before Alice comes over. I think I should I have enough time.

And going in a car with someone and being near them makes me very nervous. But I had so much fun in class with him.

"Ok that would be nice thank you" I say before I even understand what I just said. We start walking outside of the building and to his car.

I am very nervous to be in a car with someone. I mean I have been in a car with uncle Charlie and my parents. But never with someone outside of my family.

Well I mean I probably have been but never since my anxiety got this bad. Uh oh the more I think about it it's getting harder to breathe.

Thinking about it is making me panic more. I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathe. It's not working. The next thing I do is this trick I got from school.

I start with 5 things I feel:
The seat in the car.
The car floor beneath my feet.
My arm on the arm rest.
My head on the head rest.
The seatbelt across my chest.

Next 4 things I hear:
The car engine.
The car radio.
My breathing.
Edwards breathing.

Then 3 things I see:
The road ahead.
Edward.
The car.

Now 2 things I smell:
The car.
My perfume.

Finally 1 thing I taste:
My spearmint gum.

When I finish I take one deep breath and I am mostly calm. Which I expected that trick usually works if I can focus enough to do it.

I look over at Edward and he is focusing on driving. We sit in silence until he asks "what are you buying at the store?"

"Oh umm just some groceries for dinner tonight" I say. "What are you making?" He asks.

"I was thinking lasagna but I don't really want that now so I'll just look around and whatever I see that I want I'll get" I say. "Ok" he says.

We're in the store and we walk past the meat section and I see bacon. I think I will make pancakes and bacon for dinner.

I hope Charlie doesn't minds breakfast for dinner. "Have you decided what you're going to make." Edward asks.

"Yes I'm going to make pancakes and bacon" I say. "Sounds good" he says. Once I get the stuff for bacon and pancakes I grab the groceries for the rest of the week.

I pay and we get back into his car. We talk about school and he tells me a bit about his family. I'm still nervous but not like before. Now it's just a lump in my throat.

I learn that Alice and Jasper are dating. Edward says he sometimes feels left out.

Because Carlisle has Esme. Alice has Jasper and Rosalie has Emmett. I tell him I know what it feels like to be left out of stuff but probably not in the way he is.

He drives me to Charlie's house. "Would you like to come inside?" I ask. I hope he says yes. "Yes I would like that." He says.

We get inside and it's 4:03 Alice should be her in about 27 minutes. I tell him he can sit at the table while I empty the groceries.

I finish emptying the groceries and ask if he wants a tour of the house. He says sure.

I show him all the rooms then we get to my room. He looks around I sit on my bed. "You don't have much stuff." He says.

"I know I guess since you told me about you're family so I guess I should tell you about mine." I say. "Not if you don't want to" he says.

"Oh it's ok you can sit on the bed it's kind of weird if you just stand there while I tell the story." I say and move over bit so there's room for him to sit.

I walk over to a corner of my room I hid the photo album in. I'm not sure why I didn't tell Charlie I feel bad that I didn't.

"So this photo album has pictures of my family." I say and show him one with me and both of my parents. "You guys look happy" he says.

"Yeah we were pretty happy. But my parents are super traditional so when I told them." I take a deep breath and look away from him. "When I told them that I'm umm that I'm bisexual they uh they kicked me out in a not so friendly manner." Then I look back at him.

"They shouldn't have done that to you" he says. "I know" I said. "Well for the record I accept you." He says.

The relief I feel when he says that I crazy. "Thank you" I say. "You shouldn't have to thank me. I'm straight and I'm not thanking everyone for them accepting me." He says.

"That's different, everyone just expects heterosexuality but when there's something different people have a different reaction." I say.

"I know and that sucks" he says. "Yep it does" I say. "Well I can tell you for a fact you're new best friend Alice will definitely accept you" he says. That makes me smile. "Thank you" I say.

Authors note- This chapter does deal with a bit of Caroline's anxiety. I wrote about the things I usually do when my anxiety is bad and also the situation's that my anxiety starts to be a lot to handle.