Hobi's Demands • JHS

Thirty Six

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"Anti-Romantic" by TXT

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"Sweet and bitter chocolate the ending taste is always the same"

"Sorry I'm an anti-romantic I want to run far away, already my heart that chases you burns up in a small flame"

"I know that you love me, it makes me deeply drunk again, you're like a champagne, this can't happen"

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You felt like you were in shock, your brain completely unable to decipher what had just happened. The whirlwind that had swept you away from the moment he'd walked into Ji-woo's apartment this morning until you'd returned to his after Namjoon's was consuming you in the worst way.

You'd showered and were sitting on your bed in his shirt and sweats, he'd not taken them with him when he'd retrieved your things. Like a complete freak you were wearing them again, rubbing the soft fabric of the shirt against your cheek, catching the tears.

Once again you wanted to turn to your music, that had been your coping mechanism for so long, until you abandoned it. Now you'd gotten the taste of it again and it was begging you to take your frustration out on it.

You laid down on the bed pushing the thought of using it as a crutch away, you weren't going to listen to the urge. Making music wasn't for you anymore, this pedantic dive into it again was just delaying the inevitable. You couldn't have it back, not really and everyone urging you toward it was wrong.

Sleep caught you, but whether it was the weepy tiredness or the sheer force of will to shut down, you didn't know.

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YS: Dinner tomorrow night?

You glanced at your phone, heart immediately jumping to hope it was Hobi. Your step father asking for your attention annoyed you. It wasn't lost on you that you had no right to feel that way, he'd not done anything wrong.

Hobi hadn't messaged you all day, even though you'd checked in twice like you were supposed to do per your agreement. You'd not even considered skipping them because you refused to accept he would actually end the dynamic. The messages didn't even show read and you wondered if it might have felt worse if he had.

YN: It depends

Your phone rang, he was calling, you thought for a moment to not answer. You'd just claim you were about to take a shower or something but at the last second gave in.

"I don't need to drag you to dinner to ask, how's the music coming did you finish your songs with the boards?" He jumped right into it, not even greeting you.

"I made a mistake, I'm not ready."

You sighed and shifted on the couch uncomfortably. You'd known this was his motivation, and answering meant you'd maybe wanted him to say something. It was like a powerful drug, you wanted to take just another sip of it, feel that rush, but you knew what the other side of the high felt like. You were no better than your mother, and both of your vices had cost too much in the end.