If that's what it takes

30

Cristina looked down at the little girl as she stood grinning brightly, and back to Derek. "Holy crap, Derek... what did you do to her?"

"What do you mean, what did I do to her?" Derek asked as he walked up to Zoey and lifted her into his arms. She reached up and unzipped her jacket and showed off her brand new sparkly pink t-shirt.

"You like... she... she's smiling and... and she's giggling... she looks like a giant pink elephant puked on her..." Cristina said as she walked up to the little girl as Derek bounced her a bit.

I love that sound. She sounds happy.

"Say hi to Aunt Cristina..." Derek said as the little girl smiled.

"Hi, Aunt Cristina..." She smiled.

"Aunt Cristina..." Cristina smiled as the little girl let the words roll from her tongue. "I like the sound of that...what's with all of the pink?"

"She likes pink." Derek shrugged.

"I LOVE pink!" She exclaimed as she glanced to Izzie quickly. "Hi." She said quickly as she pulled herself into Derek a little. She remembered Izzie, but she couldn't remember her name, so her shyness shone through for a moment.

"Hi." Izzie said with a slight smile as she watched the smile on Derek's face. "I'm Izzie..." She said as she held her hand out to Derek. "I... we weren't formally introduced... I'm Dr. Yang's friend... Meredith's friend... her nurse..."

Meredith's torture specializing, man handling, gossip rag reading, nurse.

"Dr. Derek Shepherd...It's nice to meet you." Derek nodded as he glanced to the bed. "We brought Meredith some balloons..." Derek said as he let the little girl slide from his arms as she ran toward the bed.

"Balloons, huh?" Cristina said smiling as the little girl tried to knot the balloons to the bed. "I'm sure Meredith would enjoy them... if... she knew they were here and all..."

I know they're here. I wonder what color they are.

"Well, it cheers up the room a little... you can't have her laying here in this sterile nasty room without something colorful to warm it up..."

A sensitive man... they do exist... and he's a doctor... if I didn't know any better Cristina Yang, I'd think you're setting me up.

"The pink elephant must have thrown up on you too..." Cristina said as she watched the little girl stare down at Meredith, her hands remaining on the small railing beside the bed as she watched her rest there.

"Does she get many visitors?" Derek asked softly as he watched the little girl watch her, her fingers dancing over the railing as she simply smiled at the woman.

"Not too often..." Cristina nodded. "Like I said, I would visit her when her father was around... and then when Lexie was caring for her, I'd see her only now and then... Izzie stayed there most of the time...She administers her medicine, does physical therapy... we all talk to her... tell her the news... tell her what day it is, what its doing outside." Cristina explained.

Tells me who is sleeping with who in the hospital... Oh, Cris... you should hear what she said about you last week... you'd kill her.

"Cris is convinced that Meredith is still in there somewhere... that she can still hear us talking to her..."

I'm still not convinced that Izzie is still inside Izzie...

"You don't believe that?" Derek asked, watching Izzie curiously.

"I don't know what to believe." Izzie said softly. "But it's in my instructions to talk to her... to let her know... just in case there is someone in there..."

I think they stuck her with me because I can't talk back.

"It's alright that we visit, right?" Derek asked, glancing to Izzie as she cringed slightly, and to Cristina, who nodded.

"I want you to visit." Cristina replied. "I know she's in there somewhere... and I know she's going to get better..."

"You really don't know that." Izzie retorted.

Shut up, Izzie. I've been listening to the same crap for six years... it will be nice to get a new perception... besides... it's my baby... why does everyone want to keep taking my baby away from me?

"I think you're done with Mer's physical therapy now..." Cristina said softly. "Why don't you fold some towels or get her meds ready for tomorrow... hell... why don't you just leave early, save us all the misery of having to listen to the negativity that you bring into this room." Her voice lowering to a growl.

"Cristina..." Izzie said in protest as Cristina just shook her head.

"Meredith has guests..." Cristina said softly. "And whether or not she can hear what they're saying to her, or they can make her better... or whatever... she deserves visitors... and she deserves this visitor." She said nodding toward Zoey. "So why don't we just leave them alone... let them tell Meredith all about their shopping experience... and you and I will go do other aspects of our job that need to be done." Cristina replied with a growl.

"Cris, I..."

"I don't care what you think..." Cristina shook her head. "Let's go... Derek, Zoey... have a nice visit..."

"We'll find you before we leave." Derek nodded as Cristina nodded and walked toward the door, but not before grabbing Izzie's arm and nearly removing her from the room herself.

Derek stood for a moment, his eyes drifting from the door to the bed in the room. The sounds from the monitors were low and steady, the woman's breathing was steady as well, moving in time with the machines. He observed for a moment, his eyes trailing from her feet to her face, angelic and peaceful as she lay motionless.

She's watching me. My baby is here, I can feel her near me. I can feel her watching me. I want to hold her. I want to hold her... I just want to hold her, just once... just touch her.

He allowed his eyes to travel to the little girl, her blonde hair color matching the color of the woman in the bed's, her eyes grey and solemn as she watched her sleeping beauty sleep. Derek wondered for a moment what color the woman's eyes were, he wondered if they matched the color of her daughter's, if they could be just as bright, just as happy, just as wide as the little girl who stood against her bed, being ever so careful not to disturb her as she watched her carefully.

He's watching me too. Why aren't they saying anything? I thought they were going to visit me... most visitors talk, why aren't they talking? Talk to me... tell me about yourself... tell me about your day, about the pink things you're wearing... the balloons... please? I'm begging... please talk to me... get me out of this prison...just for a moment... please?

His eyes traveled back to Meredith, watching her steady breathing and the thin pale complexion of her skin. He shook his head as he sighed.

"Just Derek?" The tiny voice broke through his thoughts as his eyes fell upon those shining gray eyes that he had been thinking about. "If she's sleeping beauty..." She whispered, knowing that she had his undivided attention. "If she's sleeping beauty... can't you wake her up with a kiss?" She asked, swallowing hard as she waited patiently for his response.

I wish I could cry.