If that's what it takes

106

Mark sat on the chair in the room reading through a magazine as Zoey sit on the floor quietly and colored a picture. She seemed happy and content to just be in the room, though her eyes moved up to Mark now and then as if she wanted to say something, and realizing it was Mark and not Derek, she looked back down to her paper and continued coloring. "DD sometimes helps..." She said softly as she colored inside the lines of the little dog on the picture.

"He helps, huh?" Mark said softly.

"Yes." She nodded as she continued coloring.

"Does he know how to stay inside the lines?" Mark asked, intending for her to giggle, but instead received a very serious look from the little girl.

"DD always stays inside the lines, Mister Mark." She said as she stared into his eyes, replying to his question as if he were asking her a very important thing. "Always..." She said as she watched him swallow hard. She looked back to her paper and continued coloring. "I miss him." She said softly as she continued to color.

Mark sighed as he listened to the little girl's words. Of all of the people that she had been near, hugged, loved or talked about. Of all of the surrogate parents and 'mothers' and watchers, this was the first time he had ever heard the little girl say that she missed someone. She had sometimes called out for her 'mother' in the middle of a nightmare, and she had sometimes held her toys so close to her, you would think they would become part of her, but this was the first time he had ever heard that little soul say she missed someone. He didn't know what to say, as she lifted her eyes to his for another second, and then moved her eyes to the page, picking up another crayon to continue its colorful journey on her page.

The door to the room opened and Izzie stepped in. She walked toward the bed and jumped a little when she saw Mark hunched over, looking to the floor. "Oh... I didn't realize you were here." She said with a smile as Mark sat up in his chair, and after a moment, Zoey crawled a little from beside the bed to peek out.

"Hi Izzie." She said as she waved and smiled.

"Hey there..." Izzie said with a soft smile as she looked to Mark.

"DD isn't here." Zoey said as she carefully stood up. "DD isn't here, it's just me and Mister Mark. DD couldn't come." She said again as Izzie nodded her head.

"I saw him today." She said with a smile as Zoey nodded.

"Did he talk about me? Did he say he missed me?" Zoey asked as she glanced to Meredith. "Mommy is sleeping. She's going to be disappointed that DD isn't here." She said as she looked back to Izzie. "She's so sleepy."

"She is..." Izzie said keeping a tight lipped smile on her face as she touched the little girl's head and watched her rush over to the coloring book and crayons as she continued to color. Izzie glanced to Mark, seeing that he was watching her carefully.

"She's sedated, isn't she?" Mark asked as Izzie nodded softly. "Is she alright?" He whispered.

"She was threatening to hurt herself." Izzie said as she approached him, talking in a hushed voice so Zoey wouldn't hear. "When Derek left... she couldn't calm down... she was really upset, so we gave her some meds to calm her down."

"What the hell happened, Izzie?" Mark asked as he watched her sleep soundly.

"She was stuck within herself for six years, Mark. She just wants out." She whispered as she watched Meredith as well.

"At what cost? Derek is putting all he has into these two... if he loses either one of them, the house of cards that he's been working so hard to keep standing is going to fall to the ground..." Mark replied. "And all he's going to have left... is an empty heart, and a floor covered in cards. I'd say that she needs time... but that's all she's had, Iz. Time to think, time to contemplate, time to try and become frustrated. Time to make herself bitter and angry at the people around her. She's spent six years inside her head dreaming for the moment that she could see her daughter, hold her, touch her... that I'm afraid she's going to push away everyone else."

"She's stubborn..." Izzie whispered. "But she isn't stupid. She does need time Mark... because if all she has had time to do is think... then she knows very well who is going to be here through it all, and who is going to walk away... and as far as I can tell, the only people that would walk away... are dead." She said as she watched Mark nod softly as their eyes went to the bed. Zoey jumped up and grinned at the movement on the bed.

"Mommy!" Zoey exclaimed happily as she ran around the bed to the stepstool that was beside it, climbing atop it, she was there just in time to see Meredith's eyes open.

"Zzzzz..." She whispered sleepily, as the corner of her lip turned up slightly, though her eyes were filled with a deep, dark sadness.