If that's what it takes

77

Derek held the tiny angel in his hands as she clung to his shirt, her thumb still planted in her mouth as she breathe easy and softly. His eyes moved to her bag, a bit of pink fur stuck from the zipper as he smiled slightly knowing what it contained. He sighed softly and rocked her as he slid from the bed and sat in the chair beside the bed and placed his foot solidly on the floor as he tilted it back about two inches, enough to make it rock just a bit. His eyes moved to Mark, who was watching him carefully. "What?" He whispered.

"Nothing." Mark shook his head as his eyes went to Meredith and then back to Derek.

"Mark?"

"I'm just..." Mark sighed as his eyes went to Zoey. "I'm trying to figure out what you got yourself into here." Mark whispered.

"What does that mean?" Derek asked him, furrowing his brow. It seemed he was half angry for Mark saying it, even though he knew he was right, but he also was on the verge of agreeing with him.

"I don't know, Derek... two weeks ago, you had..."

"Nothing, Mark. I had nothing." Derek replied.

"Now what do you have, Derek?" Mark whispered. He could see the frustration building in Derek's eyes, the anger and misunderstanding clouding his eyes right as they sit there and Mark shook his head. "Derek... I'm not trying to disrespect you or your decisions... but I want to make sure you understand the implications of all of this."

"Thank you, Mark." Derek whispered as he continued to rock the little girl.

"I mean... there are easier ways to adopt..."

"That's not funny." Derek replied.

"I'm sorry..." Mark sighed. "I just... you know me, when there is something this big... I make jokes."

"I know." Derek replied. "Which is why I haven't killed you yet." Derek said with a slight smile. "I just wish I knew what we were going to do... what is going to happen..."

"Wish we were clairvoyant?" Mark asked with a laugh.

"Just today." Derek replied. "God, I hope Bailey is in."

"Bailey? I thought we were hiding from Bailey..."

"No... Doctor Webber."

"Chief of staff, Doctor Webber?"

"Yes." Derek sighed as he glanced to Meredith. "I don't know what he has to do with this... but I'm really worried that if we do something... at least one of us involved isn't going to have a job." Derek whispered.

"But... you think the surgery would be successful?"

"If we can get the right doctor for the job." Derek said softly. "I...am scared, Mark."

"I know." Mark nodded.

"A surgery like this has all kinds of complications." He whispered. "Its very invasive... and even if we take care of the bleed, there is no guarantee that she'll wake up... or that she wont have paralysis. It's a ridiculously complicated surgery."

"You've researched it..."

"I wrote my dissertation on this type of surgery, Mark... I've read everything there is to know..." He whispered as he swallowed as the door opened and Izzie walked in.

"I found a room." She whispered as she glanced to Mark.

"I think... we'll stay here for a little bit, Izzie." Derek whispered. "Save the room though... We'll put her in there when we know something... right now I just... I just want to hold her." He said softly as Izzie nodded.

"I'll go rest." She said as she glanced to Meredith. "Do we know anything yet?"

"I'll page you when we do." Derek replied as he watched Izzie nod and watched her slip from the room.