If that's what it takes

78

Derek held that little girl in his arms until they fell sore from her weight, her sleeping face far too angelic to disturb, her soft breathing was drifting over the skin of his neck, as he pulled her up into him a little more. Mark had left the room after an hour, leaving Derek to the peace of the hospital room. The doors opened after about two hours, Derek's eyes lit up as Cristina stepped into the room. She looked nervous, unraveled and scared. Derek watched her eyes as they drifted to her friend.

"What's going on?" Derek asked as he sat up slightly, Zoey stirring minimally as he moved, her body settling in the cradle of his arms, his arms aching from stiffness. "Cristina, don't stand there and look at me like that if you have nothing to say."

"We saw the scans." Cristina whispered as she glanced to Meredith and back to Derek.

"Cris..."

"We saw the scans and Bailey determined that it was big enough... it was... its dangerous enough to warrant surgery." She said as she closed her eyes. "We... but we can't do it here." She said as she scratched her index finger with her thumb as she looked to the floor. "We can't do it at Seattle Grace."

"What do you mean we can't do it at Seattle Grace?" Derek shook his head. "Why is she allowed to lay here and..." Derek paused for a moment as he looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms. He stepped to the bed and very delicately placed her on the bed beside Meredith. He made sure that any tubes or wires would not be disturbed as he kissed her forehead, watching her cuddle into Meredith's body. He then turned back to Cristina, his eyes showing the frustration in them, that she knew would be wrought. He glanced to the bed and took Cristina's arm as she followed him to the other side of the room, where he turned her to face him. "Why is it that she is allowed to lay here and die, but when she needs help, you have to take her away?" Derek growled.

"It's not me, Derek." Cristina whispered. "It's a lot bigger than me..."

"Then why are you the one giving me the news, Cristina?" Derek shook his head. "This is a hospital for Christ's sake... you're supposed to be helping people, not letting them die!" He said with an angry growl.

"Derek... she's not going to die!" Cristina exclaimed. "But they have to take her to a different facility... for this surgery... for any surgery... the hospital is locked in a dispute over her medical care. We can't treat her... we're not... legally obligated to treat her. If we treat her, Derek... the estate of Ellis Grey has been ordered to issue a statement against the chief of staff. Meredith signed her power of attorney to her mother, and it was thusly transferred to Lexie. Lexie is her only living relative... and Lexie can't release it.

"Lexie is brain dead." Derek grunted.

"Lexie is still alive, Derek." Cristina replied. "We have no rights to treat her while Lexie is breathing."

"Unplug Lexie." Derek growled.

"You know we can't do that, Derek... we can't kill one to save the other... Bailey is having her transferred to an undisclosed location. They will perform the surgery and we have to hope for the best." Cristina whispered. "There's nothing more we can do."

"Why an undisclosed location? Why can't we be there? Why can't we see her after the surgery? How will we know that she has survived? What the fuck is with all of the secrecy, Cristina. That little girl's mother is hanging by a thread, and you're holding a very sharp, very unsteady ten blade against it. Do you want to be responsible for killing your best friend? Do you want to be responsible for killing that little girl's mother?" Derek growled. "You're not taking her out of this hospital!" Derek exclaimed.

"Derek... its for your career... for Mark's career... for my career."

"And my career is nothing if I have to deal with one more thing happening to that little girl!" Derek said as he rubbed his forehead with his fingertips.

"They're taking her in the morning, Derek." Cristina whispered, glancing to Meredith. "She'll be alright... they'll get the clot out... and..." Cristina rubbed her face with her hand as she tried not to cry. She watched Derek as he continued to fall apart in front of her.

"Just... fucking leave me alone." Derek muttered, turning away from Cristina. "Just leave... leave us alone." He said as he sat down in the chair and put his head in his hands as he stared at the floor.

"Derek..."

"Cristina..." Derek whispered as he looked up at her and shook his head, tears in his eyes as he tried to work everything out in his head.

"I'll... see you in the morning, I'll call someone to cover your shift for the rest of the night, and tomorrow." She whispered, as she turned and walked from the room, trying her best not to break, knowing already, that Derek was doing enough breaking for the both of them.