Chapter 13 (18+)

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Gavin didn't do well with his next round of chemo. He was sicker than before and didn't eat for two days. Zeke cancelled all his appointments to take care of him.

It took everything he had to get his homework done. Even video conferencing with his teacher didn't help. The older man even said he looked awful. Gavin could only smile helplessly.

He'd been wearing beanies since he'd shaved his head and he was always cold. Zeke kept blankets all over the house. The main living room, the formal living room, the dining room, his office, everywhere. It was easier to grab it out of the closet or off the side table than to trek all the way upstairs to grab one.

Zeke sat on his leather couch in his office reading emails on his tablet. Gavin lay atop him with a blanket, his head tucked under his chin. The older man stroked his back soothingly as he slept peacefully for the first time in several days. His body hurt, and his depression was very bad. He hadn't left Zeke's side for very long, usually just to go to the bathroom and the kitchen.

They were supposed to have a get together with Gavin's friends, but Zeke was thinking of cancelling. Gavin wasn't feeling well, and it was difficult for him to move. He had to be careful with what he ate because certain foods irritated his stomach. They had found some foods were irritants and hindered his healing instead of helping it.

Dairy was not his friend. He had drunk one of the protein drinks and it had immediately come back up. So Zeke had switched from pre-made protein drinks to making their own. He had bought oat milk and almond milk to mix with the powder. Gavin liked the chocolate best so Mrs. Morgan alternated between peanut butter and banana. Sometimes she mixed them all together. Gavin could hold them down better now, and some days it was the only thing he could eat.

Gavin stirred and pushed himself up. Zeke watched him get up and go to the bathroom attached to the office. He listened intently to see if there was any illness. When he heard the toilet flush, he was satisfied that nothing had happened. After washing his hands, Gavin returned and took up his spot on the couch again.

Zeke watched his beanie-clad head land on his shoulder. He felt his breath puff against his neck as he settled back. He pulled the blanket up around his waist to keep him warm.

"I'm so freaking tired," he said. Zeke rubbed his head through the soft cap. "I just want to give up. This is torture."

"You're not giving up," Zeke ordered. "You have two more treatments then you'll have another scan. We can go from there, but at least give these next two treatments a chance."

"I know. I just feel like shit."

Zeke took his chin between his thumb and forefinger. Tilting his head up, he kissed Gavin gently. Gavin responded, kissing him back slowly. Zeke smiled into it. He loved it when Gavin took the initiative. It made him feel like they were on the way to a deeper relationship.

Gavin kissed his cheek and lay back down. He wrapped his arm around Zeke's waist and sighed. Zeke wasn't sure if it was out of contentment or from something else.

"Zeke?" he whispered.

"Hmm?" the older man hummed.

"Do you miss it?"

Zeke turned his head to look at him. He went cross-eyed for a minute. "Miss what?"

"Sex?"

"All the time, but you don't need me to pressure you. Not right now." Gavin popped his chest roughly. "What?"

"Whenever I told you no because I was tired or I didn't feel well, you always said, 'You promised to give me whatever I wanted.' How is this different?"

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