[BL] The Marquis's Scum Son

(Updated!) Blaine II: A Moment of Reflection [S2]

Update 05/30:

Minor grammatical changes. Added more uncertainty to Blaine's feelings for Walker, but they both know that something is there. Added some extra dialogue to make the scene smoother and more cohesive. Gave more background insight on how Blaine feels about the original Blaine and his life afterwards.

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Walking up to red hair in my face will never get tiring to me. This feeling that I get when I'm around him, it's only amplified over the years. He captures my attention in every damn way, for when he enters the room, or even when it's just the two of us. 

And god, he's just so...naturally entrancing and I always find myself drawn to him in some form of fashion.

He is just so...warm. I have felt the emotion ever since I first saw him. 

All the way back in sophomore when I was just entering a brand new world and a brand new life. Where I was worried about changing my fate, changing people's viewpoint of me and my past body's actions. What the original Blaine had done was already set in stone and unfortunately at the time, it was something I had to live through in terms of the repercussions.

It was overwhelming, now that I think about it.

And it wasn't fair. 

After all, I didn't do this, technically. I wasn't the one who bullied Tye Evergreen, the main character's brother into almost committing suicide. I wasn't the one who originally ignored and fought with Maxwell at the most inconvenient times. And when I think about it, I don't even remember Blaine's name being mentioned in the original novel often.

All of this misery just to be a brought into as a side character.

Slowly, I started to get Blaine's memories as I continued to live his life. All of the past grievances, altercations, traumas, fights, I've seen it all by now. So, there is depth to the original Blaine Ashdown. He was still a shite person, but there was an explanation for how he came to be that way as well. It doesn't excuse for what he has done, but it did give me more insight on how he was more than a bully. Just another incident of bullied becomes the bully.

He should've known that acting on his rage on other people wouldn't change a goddamn thing at home though.

At this point, it's been about three years since I've transmigrated into this world and I've determined that this life is mine now. No longer will I feel pain for the actions of another, far too much has happened for me to give a fuck anymore. 

It was hard to reach that conclusion though as I struggled with my identity for a long time.

I was forced to be stuck in constant stereotypes and labelling from someone else's doing, but to the rest of the world, to the rest of Asnos, nothing has changed except my personality (kind of). And it would piss me off so much when I got jumped by randoms for random miscellaneous shit, or when someone automatically assumed that I was the cause of some misfortune. Going back to my dorm at the most inconvenient times, battered with crusted blood that often wasn't even mine.

I wanted to tell everyone that you have gotten the wrong person, I didn't do any of this shit. I didn't do anything wrong.

But then I looked in the mirror one day, and it hit me that I was Blaine Ashdown now. 

And that's how the world views me too. 

So eventually I started to stop holding back with my punches, with kicks, all of the self-defense. I never started anything physically first, but I wasn't going to back down without much of a fight anymore. I was done trying to win people's affection by trying to be cordial, it only made me look even more suspicious.