Rise of the TMNT x reader but its kinda weird

[Part 3] ||"I can't continue like this"

A/N:

Heyo! It's the nameless author you all love (I hope?)

(there will be flirting in this chapter! Is that something people have to know before reading?...)

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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One month.

I've been living with the turtles for one month.

...

I take a loooooong sip of coffee and stare at the wall, what a beautiful color, truly inspiring! 

I wish I had an actual home that I could paint and decorate, one that isn't located in the sewers, of course. In the one month that passed, I've learned a lot about the turtles and their personalities: Leo is the sassy goofy one, Raph is the responsible but still soft one, Mikey is the loud fun one, and Donnie is the self-centered dude that goes mad scientist mode now and then.

Even if they can be a little annoying sometimes, I still care about them, honestly. I didn't think much of them when we first met, but they're pretty cool dudes. I've fallen victim to some pretty crazy situations by being involved with them, but it's refreshing to finally know other mutants after my transformation. 

But still.. There's this little voice in my head that tells me I shouldn't be here.

They do not know anything about me other than my name and mutation, for every single day that passes, I feel more and more guilty about it. I can't just grow the balls to tell them my past, but I also can't keep living with them like I'm part of the family when I'm clearly not, Donnie still stares at me every time I'm helping out his brothers in a mission, Raph still stutters when he speaks to me! God dammit! Even the ones who wanted me to live with them in the first place show these weird signs of distrust sometimes, like when Leo and I were trying to beat the heck off some paper ninjas, and he insisted on not giving me his sword, so I could make a portal for him while he was hurt and unable to do so.

I sip on my coffee again, this time choking on it.

I fall from the chair I was sitting in, hitting my head on the cold tiled floor.

-"Y/N?.. Are you okay?" - Raph stands on the kitchen door frame with his arms crossed, looking at me in concern - "Yeah.. I'm okay, I just choked, have you never choked before, by any means?"

I stare at him up and down, I hate acting like this around them, but this is the only way I can make sure they don't get way too attached to me, what if they started calling me by a nickname? My heart sinks in regret just thinking about it.

-".. Yeah look, Mickey has told us that he noticed you've been really distant these few days, and we were thinking about start playing catch-the-bandana with you!"- He puts his finger in the air with excitement - "You see, It's this game where we-"

-"Let me guess.."-I cross my arms and move my hips in a mocking manner, still on the ground, now accepting my fate and just looking at the ceiling like I'm star-gazing - "You catch a..GASP! Bandana?"

Donnie enters the room, staring me down with a frown - "Heeey... Saying actions out loud is MY thing!" - "Don't you have three brothers? You should be used to sharing at this point!" - I say.

I hear Leo's laughter from across the hall, followed by an "I wish!", Donnie quickly turns around to the hall and responds by screaming "shut up!", looking at me again and coughing on his hand politely.

Raph awkwardly continues. - "So... What do you think? We'll try our best to keep Leo from mocking your skills!" - Donnie moves his head up and down in agreement.

-"No, thank you."

-"Awesome sauce-! Wait what? You're not playing with us?"

-"You've heard me, big guy."- I'm now sitting on the kitchen floor as Donnie responds in awe -"What? You can't just not play with us, you don't even know if you're going to like the game or not." - I point my finger at them with a shit-eating smirk - "Precisely, gentlemen." 

I get up and leave my mug on the counter, slowly walking out of the kitchen to Leo's room- I'm not even looking at Donnie, and I can still feel how insulted and personally attacked he looks right now.

.

.

.

I enter Leo's room, he's sitting on his bed playing some random mobile pay-to-win game, eyes glued on the screen, not even noticing my presence until I close the door - "Y/N! I'm absolutely beating the shit out of this kid- Oh crap, an ad."

-"An ad mid an online duel? Dang, capitalism really does suck, doesn't it?"- I sit right beside him, watching the ad being displayed on the screen - "And why is it in Russian?"-"That's what I'm sayin'!"- He dramatically puts his hand on his forehead, falling into me and stroking the moth fur surrounding my neck - "That's a pretty good scarf material you've got there, does it grow back?" 

-"If you ask nicely, maybe I'll let you sleep on it someday." - "he rapidly gets his body out of my lap and gasps in an ironic manner - "Did you just.. Flirt with me? Oh, my! Y/N L/N themself, flirting? - He laughs and runs back to his phone, realizing the ad is now over.

-"OH SHIT! NO, NO NONONONON-"- You hear the sound of a manly voice saying "GAME OVER".

-"GG, Leo!"-I give the frustrated turtle a thumbs up - "You totally showed that 8-year-old kiddo god's hatred!" - he stares me straight in the eyes for a couple of seconds before starting to laugh uncontrollably.

In this short period of time, one month, to be exact, Leo and I became really close, not best-friends kind of close, but it's still the most closure I've had in a long time. 

I look at his phone, 1AM. Oh, no.

-"Uhm.. Y/N?.."- I snap to reality as he calls my name.

-"It's nothing, let's just go to sleep, alright?"

He agrees and we both go to each our beds, after some minutes the silence of the night creeps in, the only thing I can hear right now is Leo sleep-talking, something about pineapple on pizza.

2AM, the perfect time. I start preparing my backpack silently, trying not to wake him up by accident, I don't want to have to speak to them about going back to living on the streets, I don't know if I would have the guts to tell them face-to-face my emotions and feelings, my skin shakes just at the thought of it.

As I walk out of Leo's room, I hear footsteps behind me.

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