Shattered - Completed

42 - The Clans

CeCe

"What do you think, Cecelia?" my father asks.

I look at him, still feeling as though I'm wading waist-deep through the mud. I know this room. It's a meeting room deep underground. The same one I used to see in my dream, down to the tv on the wall. I wonder how they get any reception down here? And... well... I guess I've lived here, so I've seen it in reality, too.

I'll be honest with myself. Everything feels off-kilter. It feels real, but so did both of my 'realities.' The only truth that feels immovable is my bond with Gavin.

"About what?" I whisper, belatedly. Does no one know that I bear the Black Prince's Mark?

His face softens in sympathy. "Ah, little moon. I know you're missing mom, but..." he takes a deep breath, "we need to decide if we take the clans into hiding."

"No!" I shout out. 'No,' I don't miss my mother. 'No," we will not hide from my mate. Just, 'no.' "No," I say more calmly. The room full of wolves side-eyes me. Wary surprise mixed with disdain is clearly laid out on the faces of the clan wolves.

I lived this life as if my head were underwater. Barely any contact and little to no conversation. The clans believe me to be a dud. Nothing of importance. The only wolves who know better are Moira... and Malcolm.

"Where is my brother?" I ask suddenly. I only 'knew' Malcolm for a brief couple of days in the last Knowing, but I know my older brother is trustworthy.

"Argus is checking on some of the families," my father says calmly.

"Malcolm," I snap. "Where is Malcolm?"

A hush falls over the waiting wolves. I hear a faint titter, a derisive scoff, but for the most part, the clan wolves are uneasy with my question. I search my memories, sifting through the fog. Malcolm hasn't been seen in a few months. He and his rag-tag group of wolves exist on the fringes of the north. Great warriors, but... damaged, somehow.

It isn't a mystery to me. My mother destroyed any wolf who stood in her way. Ruining matings was her way. Malcolm's ranks are filled with bitter, broken males who lost their mates through rejection, forced matings, and even death.

I bark out a sudden laugh. My brother's warriors are MateLess. My mother brought on her own destruction. I wish I could unwrap her body from her precious silken shroud and murder her all over again.

My Knowing stirs, proud of itself. We are free. Our wolves are free. We did that. We are the High Priestess, but no one knows that, I remind her. No one knows what we've done to ourselves, how we lost ourselves in the Knowing, deliberately. How we found a black wolf who was somehow searching for us. How we fell in love with him.

No one here in this dark, stone room knows and they musn't ever find out.

"Cecelia," my father says quietly, "you're distraught. You should go and sleep."

I turn my head sharply, meeting his eyes. I don't want to leave this room. I need to know what is happening, what they're planning. My mate is out there, and he isn't happy.

My father's eyes widen. I let my gaze fall to the table instantly, berating myself. No one knows, CeCe, I remind myself.

"I am tired," I admit, "but why hide? We are already safe here, aren't we?" I infuse my voice with a touch of hesitancy at the end. I want to scream again, but I'm the Lost Princess.

Another small laugh escapes me. The 'lost princess' is what the clans call me when my father and brothers aren't around. A lost princess, not because I'm lost, the way that Gavin proclaimed in the Knowing, but because I wander around like an idiot, a disappointment to the clans. It's a mockery that no one has bothered to hide from me for years and years because they all think I'm not smart enough to notice the insult.