Clover

Chapter 26

I buried my head in the pillows trying to block out the light. The sound of Lars body thumping on the ground was getting louder and louder. My hands started shaking again and I broke out into a cold sweat.

I know he's a bad person and I know his death was needed. We freed so many people that night. On top of that I stole so much money from him, I have people washing it day and night. Everything went well and that's the problem. It went right, Lars toxicity reports came back and they ruled it an overdose. They found cocaine and whatever else was in his system. I should be happy right?

All I can think about is the fact that I killed someone. I said all that shit I said to him was brave when inside I was fucking going crazy. I mean I watched the life leave out of his eyes. Everytime I close my eyes I see it and that fucking thumping. The thumping won't leave.

"Romero." I heard Sorens soft voice. "You have to eat my love."

"Okay." I didn't fight back I was tired of saying I'm not hungry. Soren sat down next to me and gave me a bowl of soup. I took a few sips then stopped. "Do you regret it?" Soren asked in a whisper.

"No." I mumbled back. "I'd never regret it because it helped make you safe. I care about you more than I do myself."

"I appreciate that but please don't." He frowned. "If you couldn't do this you should of said so. We could've handled the problem. I don't want you to shut down because you felt like you had to save me." He gripped my hand.

"But that's just the beginning, what about when my life is in danger? This was a start to a life of having to always watch my back."

"You're not watching it alone. I'm here and so is Adonis. We love you and won't let you get hurt." Soren said confidently. "You've been holed up in this room for days and we've given you space but you need to come out and talk to us about what's going on in your head." I gave him an soft look. He's right, they're my partners and I need to lean on them right now.

"Okay just let me take a shower first." I nodded. Soren smiled and stood up. He took my almost full bowl of soup and walked out.

I crawled from bed and walked over the bathroom. Adonis and Soren slept in the guest room by my request. I wanted to be alone and I couldn't handle them seeing me like this. I stared at myself in the mirror, it confirmed what I already knew. I had deep bags under my eyes and my hair was tangled up. I had messy facial hair and my skin was pale.

I broke out my clippers and stared getting my face together. After that I climbed in the shower and washed my hair and body. It felt good to take care of myself. When I got out I put some cream into my hair then put it into a ponytail. I finshed getting ready and walked out the room.

Adonis and Soren were cuddled up on the couch talking lowly.

"Can I join you guys?" I asked, walking in front of them. They both moved over and pulled me between them. Adonis wrapped his arms around me and Soren laid his head on my shoulder.

"Finally you shaved that wack ass beard." Adonis kissed my cheek.

"You didn't like my scuff?" He shook his head. "Me ether." I laughed.

"I didn't mind it." Soren shrugged. I looked at him and smiled.

"When did you cut your hair?" I asked combing through his now chin length hair.

"Adonis cut it yesterday. It was getting too long and I wanted a change." He smiled.

"You cut his hair?" I asked.

"Yeah I watched some YouTube videos and did it. Soren said he wanted a haircut but didn't want to leave us or really you by yourself." He shrugged. "It was easy as hell and we only cut it so far because he likes it long."