Tough Times (Rdr2)

chapter 6

That night by the fire was a lively one. Everyone was drinking and Sean was telling his jokes, making everyone laugh. John kept his eyes on me all night long but I didn't let it bother me. Sean stood and reached his hand out of me. I placed mine in his hand and he started dancing.

I laughed causing everyone around us to laugh too. I was happy. I grabbed a beer and drank it. Sean swung me around the camp spilling my beer but I didn't care. We laughed. John huffed and walked back toward Abigail but I didn't let that bother me. I was having fun.

"It's good to see and hear you laughing again," Dutch said laughing with me. Sean picked me up and spun me around. I haven't laughed so much in over a year.

Sean was drunk and I walked him over to my tent and laid him in my bed. He pulled me so I was laying beside him. He laid his head on my shoulder and fell asleep.

I played with his hair. The song he had sung to me I didn't know the words but I hummed the tune. He started snoring. I smiled. I fell asleep holding him in my arms.

I woke when Sean started to come too. "Ah, me head," he said.

"I got something for that hangover," I said handing him one of the pain pills Pearson had brought over with a cup of water.

I handed him the pill and the cup of water. "Thanks Lass," he said.

"No problem, Pearson brought it over before I went to sleep last night," I said.

He laid his head down in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair,  " You'll start to feel better soon," I said.

"I always do this," he said.

"Sean you have fun, you don't take it to far and you still get some work done," I said. "Speaking of which I haven't been hunting this week and need to go get us some meat."

"I've got yer meat," he said.

"For everyone Sean. I don't think Dutch, Arthur, Bill or Hosea would want that," I said.

"Yeah, guess yer right," he said.

"I will be back in a couple hours if I get lucky," I said giving him a wink.

Sean smiled and winked back. I walked over to my horse and got on. "Where are you going?" John asked.

"I'm going hunting," I said.

"Can I come with you? We need to talk," he asked.

"You can come I guess if you want but don't think it's gonna change anything," I said.

He got on his horse and followed me. "I talked to Hosea," he said.

"Yeah," I said. "What did he say?"

"He told me you sat for three months all day staring down the trail. Said you wouldn't move, they had to make you move. Said when you finally got out of the daze you spent your time hunting and picking up bounties wherever you could. Said you never smiled when you got so tired you would pass out for days. Said you lost weight, and you hardly ever ate," he said.

"Yeah well that's what happens when someone you love just up and disappears on you. Doesn't say goodbye, or if or when you might be back. I started bounty hunting to make sure your name wasn't on there. I kind hoped it was so at least I would have know if you were alive or dead. I went to the post office everyday after those first three months, hoping for something. A post card, a letter, a telegram, anything that would let me know you were alive. Abigail just kept screwing her way through camp. She blamed me for you leaving. Said if I knew how to keep a man happy then you wouldn't have ran," I said. "I believed her because why else wouldn't you send word to me. We use to be friends. We use to tell each other everything. When you left you took my heart with you, and I know it didn't bother you at all to walk away. But John it wasn't just the situation you walked out on. You walked out on me, on us, on what we were or what we could have been. If you didn't want anymore I would have hurt but I would have understood it. I mean I know she has more experience, than me and I know men find that attractive. But you didn't even denigh anything, you didn't try to reassure me. So I sat there like a damned fool. When you walked back in and went straight to her, I knew that it was over and you chose it to be that way."